The Briggle Blog

welcome, baby lulu!

2011-11-16T04:24:00.004+01:00

it's funny how life gets all busy, and i don't blog for like a SUPER long time.

this blog first evolved after adam and i moved to the netherlands -- tired of writing really long mass emails that got sent to everyone but us, and never the same group of people twice, we began what was essentially a travel blog.

then news came that we were expecting a baby, and it became more personal -- stories of our "spruitje", written for posterity, so that our little one could someday go back and read about the time when she was just a tiny baby in her mama's womb, and the fun things she did as a baby living in holland.

then facebook came along, and it got super way mucho easy to just put everything on there. but that's not quite the same.

well, it's time to break out the old blog again. because we're expecting baby #2 in mid-may. and it hardly seems fair that miss mary grace should have all the fun stories, and poot little "baby lulu" gets nothing!

so, here goes the story of lulu:

back in august, we had what i suspect was a very early miscarriage. i was devastated. i had been on this hormone cream supplement for months, trying to prepare my body for pregnancy -- my doctor kept promising me all these miracle side-effects: shorter periods! no pms! better sleep! but i never experienced ANY of that. if anything, the stupid cream just made me MORE irritated -- probably because i was expecting all these miracles that my doctor kept swearing were coming any day now -- "we just have to change your dose," she'd say. sigh.

so, after what i believe was a miscarriage (but my doctor disagrees), i say "hey, doc. i'm going off this crap for a while." went the herbal route: chaste berry and wild yam. called an acupuncturist. got an intuitive reading. pulled out my tarot cards for the first time in FOREVER. bought pretty underwear. you know... witchy stuff.

suddenly, my period was late. "AHA!" i thought. "these herbs really work! my cycle has been balanced naturally!" and then my period STILL didn't come, so just to rule out pregnancy (cuz i was SURE i wasn't!), i peed on a stick and it came back positive. i could hardly believe it! i felt so NOT pregnant! i remember with gracie, i had been feeling slightly nauseous and EXHAUSTED for several days before i finally pieced it together. but this one was nothing like that. had the bloodwork at the midwives office not come back with hormone levels through the roof, i wouldn't have believed it at all.

well, fast forward -- i'm now over 14 weeks along. just done with my first trimester. and WOW is this pregnancy different than the one with gracie! for instance:

cravings:
gracie: tator tots, clementines, carrot juice
lulu: tator tots, bacon, pickled ginger, glasses of milk, bananas

symptoms:
gracie: none. i was all "i don't know why everyone is complaining all the time... being pregnant is SUPER easy. blah blah blah, look at me, i don't have any stretch marks, blah blah blah..." i did feel hot a lot of the time, though.
lulu: exhausted. puking. can't brush my teeth. headaches.

dreams:
gracie: babies
lulu: food

my mom says that i must be having a boy because i'm dreaming of food all the time and i want to eat biscuits and gravy morning, noon, and night. my sister says i'm having a boy because i started showing like day 2 of this whole thing, just like her. my acupuncturist says she feels boy energy. (i felt boy energy from gracie, too, and i was kind of partly right, but also kind of not...) gracie, however, says "he's a girl." so there you go. she's pretty certain lulu is going to be a sister. and kids are pretty in tune with stuff like that, so i'm going to guess she's probably right.

(and no, we won't be finding out the gender at our 20-week ultrasound. it's way more fun to keep guessing!)

gracie has had so much fun with this whole baby business. and honestly, i have no idea how she found out about "lulu" in the first place. we really weren't going to tell her until maybe the big ultrasound day, because 9 months is a long time for anyone to wait, especially a 3-year-old. but somehow, she got it. like, RIGHT away. "mom, can we name the baby lulu?"

wow.

don't ask me how she came up with that name. she's at the age where all of her stuffed animals and matchbox cars are named just like how they literally are: "froggie", "blue car", "zamboni", "yellow bear", etc. so -- lulu. that threw us for a loop. but, lulu it is, at least until baby is born and we put something different on the birth certificate.

(and, gracie tells us that after lulu is born, we can name her "batman" and then change gracie's name to "transformer." sounds reasonable to me!)

she's been SO sweet -- coming up to me to rub my back (without me asking her to!) when i'm bent over puking up this morning's breakfast. saving her old clothes and toys and shoes for lulu in a box in the garage. wondering if lulu will like to eat marshmallows and have a fire pit in the backyard too. wanting to teach lulu how to read books and do art projects. she's just so freaking amazing -- where did this all come from? it's completely intiated by her -- she just stops what she's doing and mentions something about wanting to share this with lulu when lulu is born, and then comes up to my belly to yell in there, to see if she can get lulu to kick and squirm (she usually can). it's amazing. it's adorable. it's very reassuring and sweet.

except for some mild spotting around week 7 or so, i've been feeling mostly fine. pukey and tired, but fine. my mom has been a great help, coming over and loading the dishwasher unannounced. adam has been doing daddy duty double overtime so that i can go to bed early. and, as i said already, gracie has been considerate, helpful, compassionate, and sweet.

i just wish i had more time to spend with this one. i feel like i spent so much time with gracie before she was even born -- and this child is just lucky to get 5 minutes from me at the end of the day. i often wonder if that's the reason i've been so sick during my first trimester: it's lulu's way of reminding me that she's actually in there and i need to pay attention to her!

anyway, i hope to utilize this blog much more as my pregnancy progresses and we get to know lulu better. so far i can say that she responds really well to gracie's touch and voice, likes potato chips, and has been kicking and squirming for at least the last 3 weeks. midwife appt tomorrow afternoon -- can't wait to hear her little heartbeat again! it's the prettiest sound in the world!

love you, lulu!

yay democracy!

2011-04-06T16:21:00.004+02:00

yesterday i cut gracie out of school early for her civics lesson: i addressed city council on a vulnerable road user ordinance that was up for vote later that evening. she was such a good girl, sat in the peanut gallery with all the other observers, and quietly ate her goldfish crackers while i spoke my piece.

the denton record chronicle, our local paper, did a very brief write-up on what council did at last night's meeting, and it says that they:

• Passed a “vulnerable road user” ordinance designed to offer better protections for pedestrians, cyclists and people whose jobs force them to work around roadways.

The ordinance sets a safe passing distance of 3 feet for cars or light trucks and 6 feet for commercial vehicles. Violators could face $200 fines.

The ordinance is based on similar laws in 16 states and several Texas cities, including San Antonio and Austin, city officials said

here is the link to the video of my address, if you're interested. i'm the first one up, so you don't have to watch for very long to get to the point. yay, democracy!

"martin luther king day" or "how to raise a good UU"

2011-01-18T03:18:00.004+01:00

"justice is what love looks like in public" ~dr. cornell west

to be honest, i've never really thought much about martin luther king day. it was always "just a day off" for me. i've never thought about it as a day of service, or a time to stop and reflect on the life and legacy of dr. king. i know, i'm a jerk.

but the more time i spend learning about my religion, unitarian universalism, the more and more i am learning to really appreciate not only the holiday, but the man and the movement behind it. as a unitarian universalist, i adhere to the seven UU principles:

The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

martin luther king day should be, as UU's, our biggest holy day: for in this one day, nearly all of the 7 principles are met! inherent worth and dignity of all people, justice and equity, the use of the democratic process to manifest change, peace and justice for all, respect for every living being... i mean, come on! this is it! and the more i embrace my UU beliefs and values, the more and more i am realizing that this one day is really a very special and sacred and holy day. for on this day, we remember the struggles of those who made these principles possible, and we vow to continue their good fight by serving others and working tirelessly for equality, peace, compassion, and justice.

and, as a good UU mother, i want to raise my daughter to be a good UU too... or, at the very least, i want gracie to appreciate her UU upbringing and the UU values that we cherish in this household. (because, if i'm truly a good UU mom, then i will ultimately embrace whatever path my daughter chooses to connect with the Divine. hence the creation of her "god squad.")

so, today, in honor of the rev. dr. martin luther king, jr, and all that he (and others!) did to make this country and our world a better, safer, more loving place to be, gracie and i took part in some of the many celebrations that were happening in our town today:

after a trip to the gym, where i practiced ahimsa (nonviolence) in my yoga, we joined a group of friends to have a birthday party for dr. king. we made brown-bag lunches of cheese sandwiches, apples, and poundcake (the contents of the nearly 80,000 sack lunches that the people ate when they marched in washington, dc the day that mlk gave his "i have a dream speech"). then we sat on picnic blankets on the floor and read two storybooks: one was about the life of king, and the other one was his entire "i have a dream" speech, with color illustrations. along the way, we'd stop and talk with the kids about the big words in the book: "segregation," "discrimination," "slave." we talked about what it meant to be an upstander, vs being a bystander. we talked about the power of words and how that created a more lasting and powerful change than if people had used fists or guns or called each other bad names. we talked a little about the connection to ghandi, and his nonviolent struggle to end oppression (another big word we talked about). it was wonderful. inspiring. really amazing to see and hear these children, ranging in age from about 2 or 3 on up to 10 or 11, understanding, comprehending, discussing, questioning... absolutely beautiful.

then later today, gracie and i went on a march with about 100 other people, sponsored by a sorority at UNT. we gathered near the student union center, and after a few songs, speeches, and prayers, we walked about 3 miles to the MLK rec center. the weather was beautiful: nearly 60 degrees, sunny, breezy, and lovely, and the people marching were in good spirits. as we passed a park along the way, we seemed to double in size -- maybe people were having events of their own and were waiting for our group to show up? and then, just when i thought i couldn't push that damn stroller with my enormous 3-year-old in it any further, we were there!

when we walked into the MLK center, we were escorted to the gymnasium, which was set up with bleachers and chairs, and was already half full of people. i really had no idea what to expect -- i think was thinking that we'd get there, there'd be a speech or two, and people would say "thanks for coming, here's the bus to take you back to your car." but no, this was a big deal! the news was there, the mayor was there, a councilwoman was there, several ministers were there, people from the NAACP were there, there was the colorguard, a high school dance team, and a gospel choir. a kindergarten teacher gave a moving speech about the itsy bitsy spider and how he didn't give up, even when he kept getting knocked down, and how water can refresh us and sustain us, even when it seems like we're getting pushed around by it. (i'm not doing her justice -- it really was a great speech!) apparently there was going to be a dinner afterwards (i assume that some of the churches coordinated and asked people to contribute to a potluck???), but we left early: i called adam and he brought the car over to bring us home.

on the way home tonight, gracie and i were talking about martin luther king and our day today and what we learned. and though she is not quite 3 years old yet, i do think she understood two very important lessons today: one, that it's not okay to treat people differently, just because they have different skin, or different hair, or different clothes, or a different accent. all people are important and deserve respect and friendship. and two, words are more powerful than guns, fists, or name-calling. as for the rest, i think that we can build on that in years to come. it's a good start, and i'm proud of us for taking part in the events of today. i hope to make this a tradition in our family.

and, as long as i'm at it, where were all the unitarians today? not cool, guys! i didn't see anyone from my church, and i'm disappointed! i hope next year to get a group together (now that i know better what to expect), and possibly get us a banner so we can represent our church and our religion! so consider this your warning: i'm recruiting you for next year's rally! and we should do a service project too! this is an important event that we need to be a part of!

mother-daughter spirituality circle

2011-01-14T21:21:00.004+01:00

shortly before my best girlfriend, teresa, got married in 2009, i was invited to a spirituality circle of her mom's. the group had been meeting semi-regularly for years (maybe even decades?), and we young daughters were invited to join in as one of the women was celebrating her crone-ing ceremony. i was so inspired by the group's depth, connection, and divine power, that i decided then and there that i too was going to begin a spirituality circle of my own.

then we moved, and things just got away from me. unpacking three-years' worth of stuff that had previously been in storage in the usa, plus three-years' worth of stuff that we had accumulated while living in the netherlands, plus getting my husband and child settled in to their routines, plus trying to build a business of my own, plus getting to know my new town and make new friends... well, i just didn't have TIME! but i never forgot. i kept tossing it around in my brain and in my heart, quietly discerning what this group would look like, who i would invite, and what our focus was going to be.

all the while, i was making countless friends, most of them with children of their own, many of whom were girls nearly the same age as gracie. and that's when it occurred to me: start a group of mothers with daughters gracie's age. and meet as often as we want/can, to teach our daughters about the divine power within each of them, the power of intention, the importance of service, the importance of ritual.

we've only met a few times thus far:

the first time we met, we gathered on a playground outside the denton unitarian unive rsalist fellowship to celebrate the fall equinox and to meet everyone else who had been invited to the circle (thus far). we introduced our daughters by telling the stories behind their names, and made a tea for the trees using acorns and herbs from our garden. then we offered these libations to the trees and earth, as a way to say thank you for all that they have provided to us in the past year. each daughter got to take home a small bit of tea, which they were encouraged to pour into their gardens, beneath the trees that protect their homes, or somewhere else spiritually significant to them.

the next time we met, it was at my house to celebrate a traditional halloween (samhain), the way that the ancient celts and druids (and many modern-day pagans) celebrate: a feast for the ancestors! we brought items to place on the altar (pictures of the dead, mementoes from our ancestors, keepsakes from our ancestral homelands, family heirlooms, pomegranates, apples sliced along the equator to display the 5-pointed star in the center, and a nice place-setting for the ancestors to eat at). everyone brought a little vegan-friendly potluck item (squash and mushroom soup, salad, gluten-free bread, nuts and seeds, fresh fruits and veggies, apple cider, etc), and then each child served the ancestors by placing a small amount of that particular food onto the ancestor-plate on the altar. then we all served ourselves and as we ate, we talked about our ancestors, and remembered especially those who have left us in the last year. the girls all got to decorate pumpkins and gourds with stickers and crayons, and we got out the face paint so our daughters could decorate our faces too!

the most recent gathering was at j's house, on the winter solstice, where we welcomed our newest member (w, a girl who was born at the beginning of november) and literally rang in the new year by welcoming the sun with bells. we were also fortunate that some of OUR mothers were there, so that even the grandmothers were able to partake in the events of the day. the daughters made sun bonnets out of yellow felt and way too much glitter, while we mothers sat and ate and drank coffee and just generally enjoyed the coziness of each other's company. before we left, everyone went outside into the cold, bright sunshine, and rang bells to welcome back the sun. (it gives me a new perspective when i hear an alarm clock now.) :-)

on monday we will gather once again to celebrate martin luther king day. i'm not sure what all it will entail, but it will be guaranteed to be a remarkable, powerful, and spiritually-uplifting event. and i look forward to many future gatherings: learning about other cultures (chinese new year, perhaps?), serving others (as the girls get older, maybe we can volunteer somewhere to give back to our community), becoming politically active (writing letters to amnesty international or taking part in the annual "take back the night" marches across the country), celebrating the seasons (let's dance around a maypole on the summer solstice!), connecting with the earth (camping trip, anyone?), and celebrating the cycles of life (significant birthdays, first menses, graduations, etc). as our daughters grow, i am hopeful that the connection we are building in this circle will grow as well. and as our daughters grow and eventually have daughters of their own, i pray that the lessons we learned together in this group will be passed on to their daughters, and their daughters' daughters, and so on, throughout all the generations.

introducing gracie's newest goddess-mama!

2010-11-15T05:23:00.001+01:00

i'm sure you've guessed it already: auntie valerie!

valerie has been the most amazing, generous, incredible, amazing, wonderful, amazing friend ever ever ever. seriously. this girl is MADE of love and hugs and sweetness. she has been an extremely important friend for me over the years and continues to take up more and more room in my heart every day that passes. she is amazing. have i told you how amazing she is?

i first met valerie when i had JUST moved to the netherlands, back in 2006 (can it be that long ago?!). i found a unitarian universalist congregation in holland -- there was only one in the whole country, and at that time they only met one time a month -- and she and i happened to be there on the very same day. and, to make it even MORE spectacular and serendipitous, she had actually been to my former UU congregation back in boulder on more than one occasion -- she even attended on a sunday when i had a solo in the choir! can you believe it?! what a crazysmall world!

so of course i attached myself to her immediately -- for better or worse, i was in love with the woman who was in love with the UU church of boulder.

valerie was the first friend i made in the netherlands who just called me to talk one day. like, just dialed me up one day on her cell phone and was all "hey, wanna keep me company while i commute home?" i don't know if she'll ever know how much that meant to me, just to gab on the phone with a girlfriend. it was definitely memorable -- i'm still talking about it four years later!

valerie always opened her home to us, whether we came out by ourselves to amsterdam or brought out friends who were visiting from the usa. she even let nick and teresa cootie-up her apartment when they were spending a couple of days in amsterdam before flying home from a visit to us at christmas. teresa and nick got TERRIBLY sick with the flu and needed a place to crash before their flight home -- valerie, without hesitation, opened her home to them and then quickly ran away to her boyfriend's house so she wouldn't get the crud. and like, valerie hardly knew them! but she did it anyway. she's just that great.

and, one more story, just to prove my point: adam and valerie had been planning a surprise baby shower for me, but a few days before the party was to begin, valerie got the terrible news that her opa had died. the funeral was going to be back in the usa, and she needed to be there. but instead of packing up at her place in amsterdam, and trying to catch up on work that she would miss while she was gone, she got in her little red car, drove across the entire country, and delivered my sheet cake for the party with the most disappointed-sounding "surpriiiiise...." that you'd ever hear. then we went shopping for an outfit for her opa's funeral, she got back in her car, and promptly broke down before she even got out of town. this girl! she's so amazing! who DOES that for their friends?!

so i don't know why we didn't think of inviting valerie to be a part of the god squad from the get-go... i think maybe at that point i hadn't really realized how incredible she was, as we'd only been friends for a couple of years. and we'd only see each other maybe once a month, if that. but she has proven time and again how loyal she is to us, how dedicated she is to be a part of gracie's life, and how much she loves all three of us.

when we learned this past summer that valerie was going to be in colorado to see her dad at around the same time that we were going to be in colorado too, we formally invited her to be a part of this god squad. to be fair, valerie had kind of already bestowed upon herself the honor, by writing letters in dutch to gracie, sending gifts from sinterklaas, mailing her birthday presents, always asking about her in every phone call and email, and just generally staying REALLY involved in gracie's life (and ours too). in fact, she's been more involved than some of gracie's own relatives. now THAT says a lot!

so we were really excited to see our dear friend, and to celebrate her BIRTHDAY with her, no less! valerie found a water park in engelwood that she wanted to take gracie to, so we drove up there from colorado springs to meet her, and we all magically showed up in the parking lot at the exact same moment! we spent the day splashing and swimming and digging in the sandbox, going down waterslides, getting soaked by giant buckets of water, and just goofing off and playing all day long. she is amazing. have i said that already? cuz she is. it seemed like no time had passed at all since i last saw her, and yet it had been more than a YEAR. that's when you know you have found a good friend -- when you can just pick up where you left off. she's amazing.

after an afternoon of splashing and playing and having FUN, we all went out to dinner in castle rock, CO. valerie chose a place that served both italian and mexican food, and we all cozied up in a booth, drinking wine and coffee, and enjoying our pasta (or, in valerie's case, her chimichangas or whatever it was she picked out -- mexican food is hard to come by in holland, so she really wanted something smothered in green chili, naturally). we told gracie about her god squad and explained to her how it came to be and who is in it. we told gracie why she has a god squad, and why that is important to feel a connection to god/goddess/the universe/the divine. we told gracie about some funny/sweet stories about her and auntie valerie. we asked valerie what her intentions were, and how she saw her role in the god squad. then we all toasted each other to make it official. it all seemed very appropriate that we would celebrate auntie valerie's induction to the god squad in a restaurant, after spending a whole day playing in the water. holland is wet. valerie loves to cook (and to eat!). so water and food seemed like perfect elements to have in our day. how absolutely appropriate!

(oh, and then we went to a bar to teach gracie how to shoot pool. as long as it was pouring outside and unsafe to drive, we figured we had better do something fun while we waited for a break in the weather!)

valerie was generous enough to give gracie a necklace with a little vial of purple fairy dust in it to honor their connection. and knowing valerie as i do, it was the perfect gift. i am still finding purple glitter around my home, all these months later... either i am a terrible housekeeper, or the fairies keep visiting my daughter to tell her how much auntie valerie loves her.

welcome, valerie! i am sorry that we didn't invite you sooner, but we are so grateful that you are a part of gracie's circle now! (and, to your credit, you kind of always acted like you were in the god squad anyway, so it's absolutely appropriate that you are now "formally" a part of it!) thanks for all you have done for our daughter! WE LOVE YOU!!!!

my halloween with spiderman

2010-11-15T03:49:00.005+01:00

neither adam nor i are completely sure exactly when or how gracie got on this whole spiderman kick, but here it is. in fact, gracie will no longer answer to her name. "actually, i'm not gracie," she explains to me. "i'm pie-doo-man." or, more often than not, "i'm spiderman-manray-batman-diego, mom." aha. sorry i mistook you for someone else. my bad.

no matter how she got on this fixation with spiderman, the fact is that all day everyday, she IS spiderman. even people at our church are beginning to call her "spiderman." maybe they don't know her name? or maybe they don't want to be reprimanded by a 2-year-old on exactly how she should be addressed? but when she wakes up in the morning, often the very first thing she says is "i wanna put on my spiderman suit and my spiderman song and my spiderman cape."

so of course, when we asked gracie what she wanted to be for halloween, her emphatic reply was "i'm not gracie. i'm pie-doo-man!" so that's what she went as. (in fact, that's what her jack-o-lantern went as this year too.) her former teacher, miss lucy, gave gracie her son's old spiderman costume, complete with built-in muscles and mask. and this is what we now wear ALL. THE. TIME. i have to sneak it in the wash when she's not looking or is asleep, like how most parents have to wrestle a stuffed animal or favorite blanket out of their child's sticky fingers. for us, it's the spiderman costume.

right around the time that gracie got her spiderman costume, adam found a 2-sizes-too-small superman costume which he HAD to get. so, going along with the theme, i decided to go as wonderwoman. (and, btw, finding a wonderwoman costume -- or, indeed, ANY women's costume -- that ISN'T skanky/slutty/offensive is disturbingly difficult to do. check out this HILARIOUS video to see exactly what i had to deal with this year. it's funny cuz it's sadly true.)

not that we needed to get our money's worth out of gracie's costume since it was free, after all -- but we did make sure we spent as much time at halloween events as we could so that she had lots of opportunities to dress up like spiderman. (little did we know that she'd be wearing her costume first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and struggling with her to take it off because she actually needs to take a bath/go to school/put on something CLEAN.) so we went to lots of different things: a kids concert with halloween music, spooky storytime at the library, and of course trick-or-treating with all of her friends.

gracie did much better this year at trick-or-treating than last year. last year, she was most excited about ringing the doorbell. then when someone would answer the door, she'd get all shy and scared and hide behind our legs, until we took a piece of candy for her and said thank you, and then move along. this year she rang the doorbell, said "trick-or-treat" in her sweetest voice ever, took only one piece of candy willingly and without help, and then politely said "thank you" as she skipped down the sidewalk chatting with her little girlfriends about what they got. too cute!

after a couple of hours of trick-or-treating, we finally made it home just in time to offer candy to trick-or-treaters of our own. (sadly, our neighborhood is LAME when it comes to t-or-t. many of the residents of our neighborhood are not only grandparents, but many are great-grandparents. and no one goes trick-or-treating at great-grandma's house. so the majority of homes in this neighborhood are dark on halloween because 1. no one is coming by anyway, and 2. it's too hard to get up and down off the couch to hand out the candy. sad, but true. our adorable neighbor across the street -- who is 92 years old and lives alone and weeds-whacks and puts out the trash bins and fills the birdbath all by herself -- basically told us this is the case. but we predict that will change as more young families like ours move into the neighborhood in the coming years...) anyway, we got home around 7:45, switched on the porch light, and within a minute we had someone ring our doorbell! huzzah! we had hoped gracie would be able to hand out some candy before bed, and we were just really lucky that someone rang our bell so early!

well, we had already dumped out her stash of goodies on the floor to inspect the candy that might be unsafe to eat. and gracie is so excited to eat her yummy treats that she picks out a piece for herself (a sucker, naturally), and then really wants daddy and mama to enjoy the candy party too and starts just handing us pieces of her OWN candy. what a doll! then the doorbell rings, and i jump up and say, "hey, spiderman!" -- because of course i can't call her gracie -- "there are trick-or-treaters at our door! let's go give them some candy!" and being the sweet child that she is, she starts happily picking up her own candy up off the floor to bring it to the door to give it away to the trick-or-treaters. and being the doofus i am, i was like "oh no, honey -- that's YOUR candy. we have DIFFERENT candy for the trick-or-treaters." argh! i'm so stupid! i should have totally let her give her candy away! that would have been so sweet of her! candy as communal property! what was i thinking?!

anyway, it was wonderful. as is everything that we do with her. it's all just wonderful. full of wonder.

(and, within a couple of days, she forgot all about her candy, so adam and i ate it all! nom nom nom!)

happy halloween!

auntie shelby's god squad adventure

2010-10-08T02:30:00.005+02:00

as most of you know, adam and i have assembled a team of spiritual advisors/mentors for our daughter, in the hope that she will someday become a spiritually-minded person herself. who are we to choose a religion for our daughter? she should have the right to choose for herself which path will bring her closest to god, and so in that vein we have invited a handful of people to share spiritual activities and reflections with gracie.

one of the people we are blessed to have in gracie's god squad is her auntie shelby, who lives in denver. so when we were back home in colorado over the summer, gracie and i spent a couple of days with shelby so that shelby could pass on some of her wisdom and reflections to her little goddess-daughter. (and also so that i could see shelby, who is one of my best friends ever!)

one of the activities that shelby enjoys doing year after year is going to the renaissance festival and collecting things for her altar back home. gracie and i happened to be coming to town during the last weekend of the colorado renaissance festival, so we took the opportunity to drive up to larkspur to see shelby and wander through the renfest (which i also hadn't been to in almost 10 years i think!).

we didn't see very much of the faire since they didn't really have sidewalks in medieval times and my little umbroller was difficult to push up the rocky mountainside, but what we did see was definitely worth it. we had a feast fit for a king under the shade of a ponderosa pine: turkey drumsticks the size of your arm, roasted corn on the cob, french fries dripping in grease and testosterone, and ice cold beers. we saw the king and queen, along with their court, parade through the park and process to the podium for a jousting tournament. gracie and i watched a brother/sister act tell bad jokes, juggle, and do some acrobatics. gracie got to ride on a pony, feed the animals, and get a ride on a magical butterfly being pushed by a "wench."

after we had enough of the faire, we made our way over to our campground for the night: the jellystone campground just north of larkspur. NOT QUIET. wow. like, the loudest night of sleep (if you could call it "sleep") that i'd ever had! but shelby loves to camp, and she found a great deal on renting a yurt, and it seemed like another good goddess-mama activity to share with gracie. so, we toughed it out. usually, when i say "tough it out" i mean sleeping on the cold, hard ground and having to dig a ditch for your bathroom, hiking your gear in to your site and keeping things in bear-safe containers. but not this place! by toughing it out i mean somehow convincing your mind that the roaring traffic on i-25 and the constant train engines barrelling down the tracks literally FEET away from your thin canvas walls is some sort of white noise to lull you asleep. neither of us really wanted to do anything that night because we just couldn't get comfortable with all the noise noise noise (i feel like the grinch saying it, but the dude does have a point). plus, it was threatening to rain. so what did we do? we tapped into their wireless internet and watched a movie on netflix.

gracie was in HEAVEN! trains rumbling past every 5 minutes, sleeping on an air mattress in a yurt, watching a MOVIE on mama's laptop, holding a flashlight, peeing outside... omg, she loved every minute of it! so for that reason, shelby and i toughed it out. and i'm glad we did, too: it was the first time in MONTHS -- maybe over a year -- when gracie actually snuggled up to me ALL NIGHT LONG. she is NOT a snuggle bug, this girl of mine. so it was really a special treat for me to spoon with her and cuddle through the long, loud night.

the next day we had a relatively unexpected happy-ning: teresa (another one of gracie's goddess-mamas) was passing through denver on her way home from a camping trip in grand junction with her mom. her flight was in the early afternoon, so we agreed to meet for brunch at shelby's house before she went to the airport. so shelby, gracie, and i all went to the natural food store and picked up organic mango juice, a fancy-ass quiche, some gorgeous bread, delectable cheese, and... hmmm.... i forget it all. but you get the point. we ate together in shelby's dining room, then went out back to appreciate her amazing and inspiring garden, complete with pergola and koi pond! (i wish i had a green thumb like shelby. all i can grow are radishes and weeds.)

thank you, auntie shelby, for sharing your love of the ren fest and camping and brunch with my daughter! and thank you, teresa, for making a serendipitous trip to colorado so we could see you and so you could teach some yoga to gracie -- another PERFECT god-squad activity!

what i did over the summer (colorado springs)

2010-09-27T04:08:00.012+02:00

as if our road trip out to colorado wasn't fun enough, we also got the added bonus of spending 2 solid weeks in the company of bob, rae, and adam's brother matt in colorado springs.

there used to be a day when we briggles would converge at bob and rae's and enjoy endless hours of basically doing nothing: reading (magazines, books, newspapers, cereal boxes, etc); napping (on the couch, in a chair, on the floor with the cat, etc); playing cards (only shanghai -- it's pretty much the only game we play, and we're okay with that cuz it pretty much rocks); and drinking (microbrews and wine, though occasionally a stinger or some scotch).

but now that we have a 2-year-old who demands constant entertainment and excitement, our lives have taken a different turn on vacation in colorado. gone are the days of wondering "what day is it again? what time is it? do we still need to eat dinner, or will these chips and salsa count?"

within a day or two of us arriving, we all got out our calendars and coordinated our schedules to make sure that we could do it all. (such an anti-briggle mindset!) we had soooo much to accomplish and experience while we were home, and inevitably something was going to get left out. but we were fortunate that we did get to most everything -- only missing the zoo and a trip to america the beautiful park, which, considering how much we had planned on doing, is pretty darn good.

we had several lovely moments of just playing at the house with oma and opa, and a wonderful playdate with gracie's betrothed, james. james is the grandson of rae's best friend, and is only a few months older than she is. each grandmother has pictures of both james and gracie in their offices (they work right next door to each other too), and the grandmas have basically decided that james and gracie are going to grow up and get married, so now that that's out of the way we can work on everything else: which college to choose, how much money to save for therapy and braces, which religion to raise them in, etc. you know, the less important stuff than who you will spend the rest of your life with :-)

and the weather! omg! we left on the first day of an obnoxious heat wave that hit texas -- at one point in our north texas town it was 114 degrees f (46 celsius!). but in colorado? the highest it ever got for those two weeks was 87 f (30 c)!!! NICE! and at the hottest part of the day, a nice big rainstorm would roll through and cool everything off by like 15 degrees. plus, bob and rae live about 1500 feet above the rest of the city, so it's even cooler up there than down below. i was so chilled, in fact, that i actually had to go to the store to buy warm clothes. it was amazing!

we had another playdate with some girlfriends who invited us to the pool at the elks lodge in colorado springs. since gracie is basically a fish when she's in the water, it was a very nice treat for us to bring her swimming. thankfully the rain held off until about an hour after we got home -- just in time for a much-earned nap!

of course, being that gracie comes from a hockey family, and being that colorado springs is the home of usa hockey, we absolutely had to bring her skating. this was actually entirely her idea! she remembered from back at christmas, when we brought her ice skating at the world arena -- and a few days into our trip, she asked us when she was going to go ice skating again! we had completely forgotten that we wanted to bring her skating, so we were of course so glad that she reminded us! within a day or two, we made our way over to sertich ice arena, renting skates and a helmet for gracie, and teaching her crossovers and turns. she's so good at it! next step: find out where in the great state of texas we can find some ice time in order to encourage this interest of hers...

we of course did very touristy things, being that colorado springs is, after all, a very cool place for tourists to come and play. we took the cog train up to the top of pikes peak and appreciated the views from the top of the "fourteener" (elevation: 14,100 feet = 4300 meters). the

hour-long trip up the side of the mountain brought us through forests, rock outcroppings, canyons, alpine tundra, and eventually up to the snack bar at the top of the mountain, where we all enjoyed the famous high-altitude donuts. it's very odd to be eating donuts and shopping for coffee mugs at the top of one of america's most famous mountains. but it is america, after all, so maybe i shouldn't be so shocked by it all...

we spent a whole afternoon at the north pole -- something gracie is still talking about all these months later. it was essentially all of us grown-ups totally in heaven watching little gracie take turn after turn after turn on all the rides: the boats, motorcycles, slides, cars, roller coasters, carousels, ferris wheels, rocket ships... we got to meet santa claus, too, but by that time gracie was pretty much wiped out from all the excitement, and she's never really been one to take to overly-excited or snuggly strangers (a good thing), so she pretty much clung to mom and dad until we left santa's house. then, as soon as we left, she was like "i wanna go see santa!" sigh. there were also, of course, toy shops for boys and girls -- we skipped the girl one since it was inevitably going to be princess crap and boring dollies. but the BOY one was awesome! trucks, dinosaurs, and airplanes EVERYWHERE! (there were plenty of toy guns too, which we explained to her were NOT cool, and were dangerous, and we don't play with guns. she's been reminding us of that on a pretty regular basis: "guns aren't cool, mom. but TRUCKS are cool! we can play with TRUCKS!" (glad to be teaching my daughter this important lesson since we live in texas and i'm pretty sure someday she'll be playing at a friend's house where there are guns on the property. i pray often that she will know how to stay safe in such a situation. guns are NOT toys, they are NOT cool, and they are dangerous. i think she's starting to get it.)

we briggles don't have a ton of traditions, but something that we DO do just about every year is take a trip out to the flying W ranch -- a real, working ranch in the foothills of colorado springs, with the most amazing singing cowboys your ears will ever be blessed to hear. every summer (and sometimes the occasional christmas) we head up to the flying W and wander the grounds, which are set up like an old-west village, complete with tipi, chapel, trading post, and blacksmith (where you can watch a horse get new shoes just about every night). afterwards, we are called to supper by the clanging of a big ol' bell, and gather to hear a ranchhand tell bad jokes while each section is dismissed to get their grub: homemade biscuits, applesauce, baked potatoes, beans, barbecue, and spice cake. nom nom nom! after everyone's eaten and gotten seconds, the cowboys come onstage (the same cowboys who worked the ranch by day and also just served us dinner) and sing old country-and-western songs: gene autry, hank williams, roy rogers, sons of the pioneers... gooooood stuff.

add to that a trip to the renaissance festival and camping in a yurt with auntie shelby, a birthday party at a splash park with auntie valerie, formal family photos at a park in colorado springs, and a few trips to usa hockey to visit all of oma's friends and colleagues... we were busy busy busy!

originally we thought we'd only make the drive once a year, just in the summertime, to see everyone back home in the mountains -- but thinking about all the time that will pass between now and then -- A WHOLE YEAR! -- that seems WAY too long. plus, the drive is so darn pretty, and the city has so much to offer, and bob and rae are just so amazing and generous and fun. so, plan on hearing a report sometime after the winter holidays about our christmas adventures back in CO!

what i did over the summer (road trip!)

2010-09-23T03:58:00.007+02:00

i know, i know... i promised more updates on my summer vacation like MONTHS ago, and still haven't filled you all in. my bad! you know what i've realized, though? now that we have netflix, i'm totally busy watching things online instead of using my computer at night to update my blog. so, blame it all on netflix. it's totally their fault.

so, back to our summer vacation: the other awesome thing we did, besides going to san antonio, was our trip to colorado. we hadn't been back "home" since last summer, when we breezed through during our big move from holland -- we had spent just a couple of days there before driving to teresa and nick's wedding in omaha, then onward to our little north texas town to buy a house and settle in. so this was really our first vacation there in a couple of years, and we were really looking forward to it!

it was also our first road trip in about a year -- other than the trip to san antonio, we've pretty much stayed still this past year. and i LOVE a good road trip, so i was crazy excited. i got out the maps, googled sites to see, cross-referenced everything on AAA, and made the appropriate reservations at hotels.

we left at the end of july, and took 2 days to drive the 12 hours back to colorado springs. there used to be a time in our lives when we'd just go go go and not have any fun until we got there. but now that we have a 2-year-old, just about EVERYTHING is fun, so we decided to honor our new lives and take our sweet time getting there.

our first scheduled stop was in childress, TX -- we had a couple of choices of what to see, but we chose the old steam engine at the edge of downtown. it was actually a functioning steam engine sometime in the early 20th century, but has obviously been retired and now stands across from the firehouse and near the train tracks. when we arrived, there was a freight train passing by (the same freight train we kept passing along the highway for most of our trip), so we stood and waved as the engineer blew the horn and styck his arm out the window and waved back at us. that in and of itself was VERY cool, but then to add to the treat we actually got to climb up on top of the old steam engine and play with all the buttons and knobs and levers inside. we were dumbfounded at just how dangerous that job must have been a hundred or more years ago: there must have been terrible burns, awful asthma, and broken bones. just playing in the parked engine seemed dangerous enough, but to have it barreling down the american countryside with a load full of coal and fire and steam and freight? yikes!

a little while later we headed back to the car and continued the rest of the way to amarillo, which was where we planned to spend the night. but before checking in to our hotel, we stopped by the palo duro canyon ("texas' best kept secret") for a hike and some more adventure. gracie was so excited to see the canyon, she kept saying "let's go to the candy-yon" or "the candy-land" -- she couldn't quite say it the right way, and plus we made it sound so exciting, it must certainly be made of candy, and it sounds like it has the word "candy" in it, so surely we must want to go there!

we bought our parks pass and headed to a trail that was supposed to be very family-friendly 1.5 mile loop. but we only made it about a quarter mile in before we found a creek and decided to stay and splash a while. adam taught gracie how to skip rocks and find caddisfly larvae underneath the stones, and gracie taught me how to make mud pies out of the red clay along the banks. we stayed and played for probably over an hour, and could have stayed the rest of the day had it not been so hot. poor adam's flip flops broke (both of them!) on the way back to the car, and he got blisters on the bottoms of his feet and eaten alive by horseflies as he ran as fast as he could, barefoot on the baking red earth, carrying our enormous daughter the whole way. i thought it was hilarious -- adam's still mad at me for laughing at him (even though it really WAS funny!).

as we left the canyon, i asked gracie if she was ready to go to the hotel, and we got the most emphatic "YES!" that we've ever heard spoken by a 2-year-old. she still remembers the fun hotel we stayed at in san antonio, and the pool, and the elevators, and the big beds; and alllll day long we had been telling her about our trip to amarillo (which she forgot the name of and kept calling "jalapeno" instead), so by the time we left the canyon she was VERY ready to get there. and when we got to the hotel (the very same chain that we stayed at in san antonio only a few weeks earlier), gracie kept asking to see oma and opa at the pool (since oma and opa had stayed with us at our san antonio hotel too). we had to explain to her that oma and opa were at their house, and not at the hotel, but that we were going to see them tomorrow. though she was disappointed, she quickly got over it once she discovered the soda machine and the swimming pool.

the next morning we got back on the road to finish up the second half of our journey. our first stop this day was at the capulin volcano national monument -- according to gracie, the most exciting stop of our whole road trip! ever since the big weird-sounding volcano exploded in iceland earlier this year, gracie has been really interested in all things lava. so she got really fired up when i told her we were going to see an extinct volcano on the way to oma and opa's house -- pretty much everything in that sentence sounds awesome to her!

northern new mexico is BEAUTIFUL. really, absolutely, stunningly breathtaking. so we were ALL very excited to get out of the car and enjoy the scenery.

gracie got out of her carseat and rode on my lap up to the top of the volcano -- a short, 2-mile paved road to the top of the crater. once to the top, we all got out of the car along with our little picnic and sunscreen and hiked the rim of the crater. gracie did great: it was a 1-mile loop, and she practically hiked the entire thing by herself! she loved finding the signs along the way, telling her about the vegetation and vistas. then she'd pretend the sign was a drum and play us a tune or two before continuing on our way.

even after two weeks in colorado, all three of us were really looking forward to our stop at capulin on the drive back home. the views were amazing and the trails were well maintained. if i lived in the town of capulin, i would hike that trail every freaking day. it was soooo beautiful. (and in fact, we did visit this park one more time on our way home, but that time we hiked to the bottom of the crater to see the lava rocks instead of along the rim -- an interesting detour, but not nearly as pretty as hiking the rim of the volcano because we couldn't see the incredible scenery from the bottom, obviously.)

our final stop of the trip was a trolley ride in trinidad, CO: a surprisingly beautiful little town in the southern foothills of the rockies. we had no idea it was such a lovely city, and someday i'd love to spend a weekend in one of their cute little b&b's. fortunately, we were able to discover the charm of the city despite the mind-numbingly boring, way-drawn-out, and VERY hot trolley ride we endured for over an hour. yikes! so here's the problem: the man giving the tour on the trolley (which, thankfully was FREE) really loves to talk about the architecture of trinidad. and though the architecture is really something beautiful and historic, it is nearly impossible to see when you're riding in a trolley car. oh, and only half the windows open, and only a little ways. so it was a sauna in there! we'd park in front of old houses and he'd tell us all about how many italians it took to build that particular building, over so many years, and all the fancy woodwork inside, and how the swimming pool in the basement is wider than the street we're parked on, etc etc etc. (adam and i still joke about that: if there's a whole pile of dishes to be done, for example, one of us will say something like "i bet it will take 7 italians 14 hours to finish all those dishes." just like the man on the trolley! everything in that city was measured by the number of italians and how long it took them to build something. hilarious!) i even saw a silver-haired lady look at her watch more than once during the tour -- so that really tells you something! ha! and at the very end of the tour, we passed by an abandoned hotel and the driver said something like "this is where kit carson and billy the kid used to live back in 18-something-or-another". or something like that. i would have LOVED to have heard that story! let's hear about the history of trinidad, not the architecture which i can't even see from my seat! argh!

but, as i said, it was free. so i can't complain TOO much.

a few weeks later, we were in manitou springs, on our way back from a trip to the top of pikes peak. gracie saw a big green (or was it red?) bus, that in a way looked similar to the trolley that we rode on in trinidad -- and she said, "that looks like fun, but it's really not." ha! does that give you an idea of what we all thought of the tour? as you can see by the picture, both adam and gracie were NOT enjoying themselves. but on the plus side, we now know what NOT to do on our next roadtrip home, and we loved the pretty streets of trinidad so maybe we might stop there at least for an ice cream cone and a stroll through their downtown...

adam in the paper!

2010-09-01T15:32:00.003+02:00

he's in the paper! adam wrote a fabulous article on college as a "consumer" item and how inappropriate it is to call it as such. it's caused quite a stir, and someone in his department has apparently been forwarded on to the provost and the dean at UNT. professors and others across the country have already read this article and written to adam and/or me to discuss his points. the neighbors dropped off a copy yesterday around dinner time and stayed to talk about it. i'm soooooo proud of him!

what i did on my summer vacation: san antonio

2010-08-15T15:22:00.011+02:00

well, friends, it's been a long, wonderful summer. as you can tell by the gap of time that has passed on my blog with no updates, we have been having far too much fun to sit down in front of the computer to update y'all with our summertime happy-nings.

but now it's august, and i have so much to tell you. so keep checking in for more regular postings. there's more good stuff to come!

one of the many fun things we did this summer was a long-weekend trip to san antonio with adam's parents, bob and rae. everyone keeps telling me i need to see austin (and i know i do), but once i learned that san antonio has a sea world there, i insisted that we get down there the first chance we could get!

part of the reason i wanted to go to san antonio is because though i've lived in texas for a year now, all i know of this great state is what is along the i-35 corridor from the oklahoma border to my house, which is really not very much. (and really, not very pretty.) so we chose to take the scenic route down to SA in order to discover more of texas. we took hwy 281, down through stephenville, and though it added more time to our trip, it was SO worth it. the last thing i wanted on my mini-vacation was to drive through the dallas/fort-worth metroplex, then drive through waco, then drive through austin, and THEN get to san antonio -- it sounded like one massive headache of a traffic jam to me! so we WISELY took 281 and i'm SO glad for it. the scenery was breathtaking; i had no idea that texas was so GREEN and pretty! rolling hills, low mountains, wide, lazy rivers, longhorn cattle grazing in meadows, mesquite and oak trees, and wide open sky in every direction. i regret not taking any pictures, but it was all so lovely i didn't want to miss a single moment of it looking through a camera screen.

we left early early early in the morning: gracie woke up at 5:30 wanting some water and a story in order to go back to bed, but rather than put her down to sleep again, i thought we may as well just all get up and get going. for a few days beforehand, we kept telling gracie that we were going to go to san antonio to stay in a hotel with a pool and see oma and opa. all of this sounded VERY exciting to her, of course. and we explained to her that when the day arrives for our roadtrip, we were just going to get up, get in the car, and get going -- there wasn't going to be any juice and spongebob on the couch, or any long breakfast, or any playing with trucks: just get up, and get going. so, when i walked into her room and asked her if she wanted to just go to san antonio instead of going back to bed, she was like "YEAH!", hopped off her dad's lap, and headed straight for the car! she actually climbed up into her car seat and just waited for us (since WE still had to get ready and pack up the car). adam strapped her in so she wouldn't wander off while we were throwing toothbrushes into the bag, and we were just about ready to pull out of the driveway when we both realized neither of us had changed her diaper! so, out of the car, on with the new diaper, and back in again. she was SO cute, just sitting there, waiting for us to get going -- that's my girl! always up for an adventure!

we stopped a couple of times along the way: first in mineral wells, TX. (please please click on that link and watch their adorable video which really showcases the pride that the citizens have for their little town!) we stopped for breakfast at a place called jimmy's (adam and gracie kept calling it "larry's" cuz they're weird like that), and went to the mineral wells tourism office to learn more about their community. gracie's favorite thing, though, was the big, abandoned hotel which used to be the main jewel and source of income for the city. mineral wells, as you can tell by its name, has a mineral well with "crazy water" which can cure just about anything (including being crazy, so now the locals call it crazy water). she kept calling it a haunted house and wanted to see the ghosties, so we drove around it a few times, pointing to broken windows and boarded up doorways, pretending we were seeing ghosts and spiderman (her other favorite thing right now), and asking her if she could see it all too.

a few hours later we made our second stop, at marble falls, TX. the colorado river is wide, fast, and blue in this part of the state, and i was expecting there to be a beach nearby where we might be able to wade in and cool off for a bit. there was no beach (though plenty of boaters), but there was a very nice municipal pool which charged a nominal fee for us to get in and splash around. the whole trip, we were telling gracie that we were going to see oma and opa at the hotel in san antonio, and that the hotel has a pool there where we can go swimming (another one of her favorite things), so when we got out of the car and into the pool, gracie was like "we're at the hotel! let's find oma and opa!" ha! so cute! we splashed for about an hour before hopping back in the car and going the rest of the way.

we stayed at a lovely hotel right on the riverwalk, so nearly everything we wanted to do was within walking distance. we LOVED strolling the riverwalk and enjoying the sidewalk culture of san antonio. that is something that we really miss about living in europe: just the open public spaces which are available for anyone to use, whether you are sitting on a bench people-watching, feeding the birds, playing chess, visiting with friends, or just enjoying the sunshine. just OPEN SPACE, inviting you to come and rest a while and be a part of the community. that's SO wonderful, and something that more american cities definitely need. san antonio has lots of it -- along the riverwalk, for example, and in the mercado. and then also scattered around throughout the city center in the form of parks and plazas. there was one church, for example, that had a huge plaza in front of it, and several fountains for people to play in.

so, let's see... this is some of the stuff we did in san antonio:

we walked up and down the riverwalk.

we went to free happy hours in our hotel, and played with gracie in the lobby.

we ate at fun restaurants. sometimes on the rivewalk, and sometimes not.

we shopped at the mercado.

we went to the alamo. VERY cool. and totally free! we wanted to visit some of the other missions in san antonio, since they are ALL free, but we just ran out of time. plus, it was HOT. i mean, what were we thinking, going to san antonio in JULY? so we'd usually go out in the morning and do something fun, then have lunch, then have a little siesta at the hotel until dinnertime. cuz it was too hot to do anything else.

we took a boat tour down the riverwalk.

we went to the buckhorn saloon and played video games and drank ice tea (though i suppose in a place like the buckhorn saloon we probably should have been drinking a sasparilla or something western sounding like that)

we ate at mi tierra. i guess it's one of the most famous/popular restaurants in san antonio, and i can undestand why. the food was the best tex-mex i've ever had (i had the chicken mole') and the ambience was fun and funky. we ate in the "christmas room," which was festooned with THOUSANDS of christmas lights, ornaments, and garland. and it was july. in texas. crazy. they also had this amazing mexican bakery with incredible pastries and cookies and fudge. i went back a few days later to buy a cup of the mole' sauce, because i thought it was so fabulous, and the guy looked at me like i was crazy -- i guess they make their own mole', which takes days to do, and they don't really sell it to gringas loco like me. but true to texan hospitality, the man came back out of the kitchen with a coffee cup wrapped in tinfoil, explained to me what a huge favor he was doing for me, and sold me the mole' sauce for a couple of bucks. we ate it a few weeks later when we went to colorado to visit bob and rae again. and it tasted ALMOST as good there as it did the first time around! ole for mole'!

apparently we thought it was important to wear weird hats.

we went to sea world and fed the seals. we also watched the shamu show, which is something i've wanted to do since i was gracie's age nearly 30 years ago... when it was over, i was soaked: not from being splashed by shamu himself, but because

i was BAWLING.

i was SOOOO happy to finally get to see something i've imagined for three decades. and know what? it was totally worth the wait. it was SO MUCH FUN! cuz not only was it shamu, but like three shamus all at once, and TOTALLY COORDINATED. how do they do that? i know HUMANS who aren't even coordinated when they dance, but here are these killer whales coordinating their jumps and splashes! how do they DO that?! amazing.

there was SO MUCH that i LOVED about san antonio -- it really is the first place i've visited in the united states that actually doesn't feel like it's in the united states! it felt so foreign to me -- parts of it reminded me of barcelona, parts that reminded me of greece, and lots that just felt european to me. it's such a beautiful city and i can't wait to get back there! i heart san antonio!!

sean and adrienne's wedding!

2010-07-05T14:49:00.011+02:00

about 8 years ago, my brother and adrienne met. and though sean knew instantly that that was the woman he was going to marry (in fact, ever since he was a little boy he had been looking for her: the girl who looked like the beautiful goddess in a painting at our grandparents house -- he found her when he met adrienne), adrienne needed some convincing... being the level-headed woman that she is, she wanted to make sure she was making the right decision. she wasn't just going to marry ANYONE -- she was going to marry her perfect partner, her soul-mate, her reliable and dependable and committed man. a few years back, they finally realized that they were in it for the long haul, and they should probably get married to make it "official." but for whatever reason, they always had a reason as to why they couldn't do it: not enough money, wrong time of year, school/work is too busy, etc.

but thanks to a large tax return for them this year (thank you, president obama!), they finally had the money to do it. and, after 8 years of living together anyway, they pretty much had no more excuses. so they bought themselves some tickets to the virgin islands with the plan of getting hitched while they were down there.

then, about 6 weeks ago, i got an excited phone call from adrienne. "hey, amber, you better call me! sean and i have some great news!"

i called her back right away. before she finished answering her phone, i blurted out, "ohmygod, you're pregnant!"

(laughing) "nooooo! but how did i know you would say that?"

then she told me that she and sean decided not to get married in the virgin islands, but to have a very small wedding on her grandmother's farm a few days before they were planning on leaving -- the VI trip was just going to be their honeymoon now. "can you come?" she asked.

without hesitation, i said i would be there. and i was. and it was amazing.

so, on june 26, i flew up to minnesota, just by myself. (now that gracie is 2 and has to buy a plane ticket instead of sitting on my lap, the poor little girl never gets to go anywhere anymore.) i rented a car, stayed with my mom, and had a wonderful wonderful wonderful time! every moment of every day i was there was filled with love and comfort and joy. (plus, the weather was AMAZING! and those poor minnesotans kept complaining about the heat, cuz it was like 80 or something. i LOVED it, and actually had to wear a shawl in the mornings because it was so nice and cool!)

i arrived on saturday around lunchtime. after picking up my car, i drove to my mom's apartment which was only a few short minutes from the airport. we both had lunch, then took off for a greenhouse down in burnsville to pick up the flowers for the wedding. my mom was in charge of them, so she had brought adrienne down to the same greenhouse the weekend before to pick everything out. so today, we went back to the greenhouse to buy the stuff that adrienne liked in order to bring it back to the apartment to arrange everything. what i loved best of all is that all of the flowers we got are perennials -- and since we got them all from a greenhouse instead of a flower shop, we can actually plant them and they can grow again! honestly, i remember the morning after my wedding, how deflated i felt after having such a fabulous time, and how sad i was that after a year's worth of planning, i was never going to wear my dress again and my bouquet was going to die and what was there to show for all the hard work of the wedding planning, other than some pretty pictures and our rings (and our marriage too, of course)? (i don't know if every bride feels that, or if it was just me being immature, since i got married at the tender age of only 23.) but with adrienne's bouquet, she can actually plant her flowers and they will come back year after year after year -- she can have a wedding garden, and maybe someday when her children get married, they can pick flowers from their mother's wedding garden for their bouquets too. isn't that lovely? i totally heart that idea.

after collecting the flowers (two varieties of lilies, sweet william, purple salvia, and some white flowers that were growing wild near my mom's place), we drove up to minneapolis to have a pre-wedding reception for the bride and groom. we met at a brew pub, out on the patio, and invited anyone who could come to just show up. it was mostly the bride's family, but sean had a good showing too: a couple of aunts and uncles, some of his friends from work, and of course me and ma.

after the party, i met up with some college friends there for dinner. and as we girls (plus one boy) all wrapped up our evening, i drove my homegirl teresa back to my mom's in order for her to help us with the flower arranging. i thought that since teresa did a flower-arranging class when she lived in japan, it might be a useful trade to employ in our task. and the flowers turned out beautifully. my mom did the bouquets, and teresa and i did all the corsages and hair clips. my youngest brother, victor, was busy in the kitchen making one of the two wedding cakes we would enjoy the next day. (we didn't know that adrienne's friend would make a beautiful cake for us all, so we wanted to make sure that we had SOMETHING at the reception! here is the pic of the cake that adrienne's friend made -- i neglected to take a picture of the cake that mom and vic made because it was SO delicious that i was too busy eating it to pick up my camera!)

the morning of the wedding, i had brunch with the same group of friends from the night before, and left around noon in order to make it over to ma's house in time to get dressed and ready. then over to the mother-of-the bride's house to hand out corsages, hair clips, and bouquets. we were just headed over to adrienne's grandmother's homestead, a few miles away, when ma got a call from victor: he was stranded at work because of a flat tire. so, off i went to collect him. as the ceremony start-time came and went, we were still on the road; i got a call from a very calm and surprisingly patient (and uber-excited!) bride, wondering where we were and when to expect us. we were only a few minutes late, thanks to vic's dressing in the car to save us time, and moments after we arrived the wedding began.

as the guests lingered before the ceremony, i was shown how to work the music: i was put in charge of the processional and recessional so that dad (who brought the dj set-up) could be standing nearby when sean and adrienne met up front.

this gave me a perfect opportunity to snap some pictures "behind the scenes", including this photo of adrienne and her dad as they exited grandma's house and entered the ceremony. i LOVE this picture, because it looks so universal: the beaming, glowing, excited bride, and the sad and resigned father, escorting her towards her future life in another home. what a very precious and tender image this is.

the ceremony itself was simple and sweet: only a few dozen guests, including parents, grandmothers, and siblings. our uncle wayne, who officiated adam's and my wedding nearly 10 years ago, officiated my little brother's wedding as well. (uncle wayne also baptised us when we were babies.) the vows were absolutely moving (something about how "i promise to love you more tomorrow than i do today.") and i LOVE how the words spoken during the ring ceremony were the EXACT words that adam and i spoke to each other a hundred years ago. and speaking of circles, it was uncle wayne's 51st wedding anniversary, and my gramma and grampa's wedding anniversary was the next day. how perfect!

the bride and groom looked absolutely amazing. of course. i've been telling people that i think sean must have sprained his face because he could not stop smiling the entire day. the poor guy was just physically unable to close his mouth or take his eyes off of adrienne. he was adorable. and adrienne! never in my life have i seen a bride more radiant! (and i've been to dozens of weddings!) she was so calm, composed, and confident in her decision, and that peace radiated out of her to the point where she was literally glowing. she was utterly a queen.

as the wedding ceremony ended, the entire wedding party plus guests entered adrienne grandma's kitchen to sign the marriage certificate.

we all went outside afterwards to snap pictures of family, and mostly of the bride and groom. after what seemed like FOREVER (omg, they took SO MANY pictures!) we FINALLY went out to eat and celebrate. sean and adrienne had made arrangements at their favorite restaurant, and reserved the back room for all of us. it was set up just perfect for a wedding reception, with the bride and groom at the head of the table and everyone else with a clear view of them. the room was so large, in fact, that we were able to have a little dance party afterwards, thanks to my dad and his dj equipment. sean really got into it, dancing his happy little butt off all night long. we even danced the chicken dance (cuz what's a wedding without a polka?) and the macarena (once we remembered how to do the macarena, that is).

speaking of dances, this is hilarious: so, i don't know if sean and adrienne's "song" is "angel" by shaggy or not, but whenever i hear that song, i think of them. and i know a lot of other people do too. so we kept asking my dad if he could play it, but he didn't actually have that song on his computer -- he had it for karaoke, but not just for a song. and since he didn't have his karaoke equipment with him, he couldn't play it. so, the night is going on, we're all having a good time, and we start eating the cake and wrapping up the party. when all of a sudden, "baby got back" comes on. i look over at my dad, and beg him to turn that song off, since i am sitting right next to my lutheran minister of an uncle and mortified that "my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun..." dear lord, uncle wayne is RIGHT HERE! when i look up, and there's sean and adrienne, enjoying a slice or two of cake, and then starting to bounce their heads up and down and shake their butts a little bit... OH MY GOD, IT'S THEIR FIRST DANCE! toooootally fitting, and hilarious all at once. (and in the video you hear me asking my dad to turn it up. i guess i got caught up in the moment!)

there were toasts made, and dances danced, and food eaten, and hugs given, and it was such a PERFECT wedding reception, i don't think i could have asked for anything else.

after the restaurant closed, we were still in the party mood, so we found our way to a bar in the area called nina's -- owned by a russian immigrant (nina herself) who kept bringing out shots of homemade raspberry vodka for us all. it was so good, i just kept sipping mine, while everyone else was downing theirs. we plugged endless quarters into the jukebox, playing song after song for the happy couple. at 2:00 a.m., closing time, we were still going strong -- but there was no where else to go, and sean and adrienne had a big trip coming up and needed to pack, so we all went home and smiled ourselves to sleep.

seriously, you guys. it was SO MUCH FUN! i've never seen my brother happier in his whole life. and my whole clan is THRILLED THRILLED THRILLED to add adrienne to our family tree. it was seriously -- seriously, you guys -- seriously. i'm like, seriously. freaking awesome.

potty training

2010-04-20T03:39:00.007+02:00

well, today i have a HILARIOUS story to tell you about gracie. which made me want to expand on it and tell you all about potty training her in general...

so let's back up to the very beginning.

ever since gracie's first day at her montessori preschool (around 18 months old) she's been very interested in the potty. when we lived in holland, i remember buying her a little potje for her to sit on and get familiar with. she never really used it, but we did have some success with her just sitting on it, bare butt, for a few moments at a time before we ended up moving and leaving the potje behind in hengelo.

once we got settled (enough) here in texas, i went out to target to find another potty for gracie. but all the ones they had were just way too fancy and expensive. i wanted another little potje like what i found at the HEMA in hengelo: cheap (like 3 euros), durable, and simple. good luck here in texas, where EVERYTHING is bigger!

we settled for a "dora the explorer" toilet seat cover, which essentially makes the size of the toilet seat smaller, so she could sit on it comfortably without fear of falling through and into the toilet bowl beneath her. and it was cheap. bonus!

this worked for several months, but the problem started around the time gracie turned 2 (omg, a LOT of problems began around the time gracie turned 2). it was around then that she became, besides very very bossy, very very independent. and this whole needing-to-be-lifted-onto-the-potty-by-a-grownup thing was NOT cool with her. we tried a step-stool next to the toilet, but no luck.

well, the weather finally turned nice. so gracie got to run around "naked butt time" as she calls it. we'd be out in the yard, and if she had pants or shorts on, she'd run over to one of us asking frantically if she could "be naked butt time." so we'd strip her down, and she'd run away, and crouch down, and pee. with her head between her knees so she could watch the peepee coming out! hilarious! (and a cheap way to water the lawn, too!)

it wasn't too long before our little genius figured out a way to improve on this. she'd insist on running around naked even INSIDE the house. which i was happy to do -- if my hippie child wants to be naked and barefoot, who am i to stop her? but the next thing i know, she's starting to let herself out to pee, like a dog! ha! i'd hear the back door open, and there would be gracie, one hand holding the door open, the other hand on her knee, crouching down with her head between her knees again, watching the peepee splash on the back step. like, she couldn't even take another couple of steps into the yard! noooo! she has to peepee right on the back step! (so now i have another mess to clean up!) then she runs back inside, all proud of herself, saying, "mama mama! i go peepee OUW-SIDE, mama! gwacie peepee OUW-SIDE, mama! yay!"

and of course, i'm proud of her too. way to solve your problem and be independent, doodlebug! now let's go clean up that pee puddle...

this couldn't last. it's gonna get hot, and that pee is gonna start to smell. so we better get her a real potty that she can use on her own.

we went to target, and finally settled on a relatively inexpensive froggy potty. and AS SOON AS WE GOT HOME she went peepee in it! now that's all she wants to do! no more peepee ouw-side anymore. she's even attempted (unsuccessfully thus far -- but attempted nonetheless) going #2 on the froggy potty. woohoo! we've put the froggy potty in a busy part of the house, so she doesn't feel like she needs to miss out on any of the action if she needs to use it (another downside of going to use the dora-seat on the big potty. nothing's happening in the bathroom, so it's boring to go in there. but with the froggy potty, we can put it in the living room, or outside when we're riding our bikes, or in the backyard if we're working in the garden, etc. she loves her froggy potty!)

yesterday was sunday. we went to a coffee shop with some friends and left the house at about 10:30 in the morning. in panties. and we didn't get back until nearly 2:00 pm -- we had even gone out for brunch. in panties. and came home in time for a nap, and she didn't have ANY accidents the whole time! what a big girl! she tells us when she needs to go peepee on the potty, and though she still won't go #2 on the potty, she will at least tell us when she needs to put on a diaper so she can do it. (i wonder if she needs to learn how to poop sitting down? she only seems to know how to do it when she's standing up, bracing against something like the coffee table or a chair or something.)

so she's virtually potty trained. she still wears a diaper at naptime and at bedtime, and when i take her to the gym (cuz there's 30 kids there, and 3 adults, and no way anyone would notice if mg was doing the peepee dance). she even wears panties to school, and MOST of the time doesn't have an accident. she's getting so big!

but now, here's the funniest story of all: this just happened today...

so, i'm going into her room to wake her up from her nap. but when i walk in, i see that she's sitting up quietly in her crib, and the whole room smells of diaper cream. "oh no, gracie! did you get into the diaper cream?"

"yeah!" (she says this like it's a good thing.)

"oh, gracie, we don't play with the diaper cream. that's not a toy, honey! come on, let's get you out of the crib and clean you up!"

at the foot of her crib is a shelf where we keep her diapers and diaper supplies. i think we must have left the tubes of diaper rash cream on the top of the shelf, where she could reach it, instead of inside one of the cubbies. so i take the cream out of her hands, put it in the shelf cubby, and start cleaning up the top of the shelf in general. i notice there's this old, poopy diaper sitting on the top of the shelf. and i think to myself, "dammit, adam," (cuz of course it's his fault, right?!) "you need to put dirty diapers in the trash! what if she would have gotten into the poopy diaper instead of the diaper cream? then what kind of mess would i have to clean up?!" i was totally irritated with adam (cuz again, it MUST be his fault, right?!). and irritated with gracie for playing with the cream, when we've told her time and again that it's not a toy. sigh.

so i'm taking her out of her crib, to strip the sheets and put her blankies and stuffed animals in the wash (since she was kind enough to put cream on the bottoms of all her friends too). then i notice, as she's walking away, that she's not wearing a diaper. and i KNOW i put a diaper on her at naptime.

and then i notice she's got diaper cream all down her legs and on her butt, too.

>and then it clicks for me:

"gracie, did you change your diaper?"

"yeah!" she replies proudly.

HAHAHAHAAAHAHAAA! gracie, big girl that she is, took off her poopy diaper, folded it nicely, put it on top of the diaper shelf, got the cream, and started to put it on her bottom! had she been able to reach the wipes, i have no doubt that she would have wiped herself too. what a big girl! i felt so bad for scolding her, when all she was doing was just solving her own problem and being the independent girl that i love and adore!

but still, we had to take a bath to wash off all the cream. and i had to run an extra load of laundry today. in spite all of that... it was totally worth it. she's such a big girl! and so FUNNY!

i was talking to my mom-in-law today, and told her this story, and after we both stopped laughing we thought that maybe instead of potty training gracie, we should just teach her how to change her own diapers instead. that way she can keep wearing the diapers (which she prefers to do anyway) and i won't have to bother changing any more poops! and then when she gets tired of changing all those smelly diapers, she'll be more motivated to use the potty... brilliant!

isn't that FUNNY?! omg, i love her. what a great girl she is!

"i heart denton!" or: "how i learned to stop freaking out and just go for it"

2010-04-11T14:16:00.004+02:00

i don't know if i've mentioned this to you before, but i really do heart my town. seriously.

i think one of the things i love most about denton is how SURPRISING it is. you really wouldn't think that a north-texas town would be so full of crunchy earth-loving hippies riding bikes and voting for obama, but there really are a LOT of us here. denton is progressive, optimistic, creative, dynamic, somewhat liberal, and full of people with big hearts and good ideas. here's yet another example:

my cool friend, kati, had this great idea about how to bring the best of denton together once a month, to really showcase all that we are and all that we create. so she and a bunch of really amazing people got together, held fundraisers, got local businesses involved, advertised, set up a website, and made it happen.

yesterday was the first day ever of the extremely awesome and very inspiring denton community market. (note: the market will be held every 2nd saturday, april through november, from 8:00 a.m. to 2:00 pm in the parking lot where the farmers' market is currently located: the corner of carroll and sycamore.) two dozen very diverse vendors met in a parking lot at 7:30 on a gorgeous april morning, and set up shop. there was a woman next to me who made these really cool headbands (she said she started out making sculptures, then thought smaller...) and she was totally cleaning up. i wouldn't be surprised if i saw a hundred people this week wearing her stuff... the woman behind me melted wine bottles and turned them into serving plates, and made earrings out of beer bottle caps. she also sold out of her homemade jams, jellies, and pickles (and her art was featured in this morning's sunday paper)! the two booths across from me were all-natural pest control (the dude there seemed pretty intense -- he knows just about everything you could know about bugs!) and an edible, organic landscaping business (the dude there mostly jammed on his guitar all day and then answered questions of folks stopped by). there was a booth selling bracelets to raise money to stop human trafficking, and another booth for education/fun for the kids, teaching them about bugs and worms and dirt and solar power with all sorts of activities and games. there were live musicians (not just the guy with his guitar at the landscaping booth), and people dancing, and people selling and playing cool drums and bells, and a local organic farm sold out of their chard and kale and beets within an hour (good thing i was there to set up early or i would have missed out too! i think most of the vendors bought their stuff before the locals could even get there to shop! ha!).

and there was me! yay, me! i had my very own chair massage booth, complete with a canopy and an information table and a poster and everything. (i was also the only person there with a canopy who thought to tie it down to cinder blocks. and there were several gusts of wind yesterday which knocked over people's stands! and so folks were all like, "that's so smart to tie yours down to cinder blocks! what made you think of that?" and i was all, "um... it's common sense?" lol! i fully expect everyone to run to lowe's and buy up all the cinder blocks and rope -- so if anyone out there has a home-improvement project where you need cinder blocks and rope, you better get down there soon cuz they'll be selling out before may's market!)

i was totally and utterly nervous for this market. (those of you who follow me on facebook are well aware of this! status update: "freaking out! market tomorrow! wtf?!") several reasons for my nerves: 1. adam is out of town and i had to find a sitter for gracie. and literally EVERYONE i know was going to the market and so couldn't watch her. i finally found someone, the neighbor across the street who's been bugging me for MONTHS to watch gracie, so i approached her and said "here's your chance!" 2. how was gracie going to handle a new babysitter? i had to leave very early to set up for the market, so mom wouldn't even be there when she woke up, and dad has been out of town for several days now. is she going to freak, or will she be okay? 3. how the hell do i set up my canopy by myself? (ps: i did a practice run in my driveway a few days before and it was a good thing i did, too: the first canopy i bought was completely busted so i had to exchange it. and our good neighbor, cal, came over and taught me how to tie a knot so i could securely tie my canopy to the cinder blocks. that was something i actually DIDN'T learn in girl scouts!) 4. where was i going to set up? 5. where was i going to park? 6. what happens if i need to leave the market cuz gracie is freaking out with the babysitter? and perhaps scariest of all: 7. i am at the market to represent ME and MY BUSINESS. not a spa that i work for. not a health club that i'm promoting. not a chiropractic clinic that i'm associated with. ME. so if i screw it up somehow, or don't come across as being professional, it's MY name and MY reputation which will suffer. and it's a small enough town that people will remember. ugh...

BUT!

SUCCESS!

i showed up at 7:30, completely nervous but open-minded and adventurous about it all... and several people offered their help immediately. (including my dear friend, pauline, who got up early and drove down there to help me set up, and then even went to the fancy bakery in town and got me a croissant since i didn't have any breakfast yet! thanks, p!) and by 8:00 or so, i was ready to go.

the market started out slowly, with a few people trickling in here and there, but by 10:00 it was in full swing. and it stayed busy for the rest of the day! and *I* stayed busy for the rest of the day! i was talking with adam the other day about how i would define "success" for me at the market. i said, if i could make $100, get 10 people to sign up for my mailing list, hand out 50 cards, and get someone to sign up for an appointment in my home office, i will consider it a huge success.

well. i met or surpassed ALL those goals! and even more exciting, i learned that i CAN do it! i CAN set a goal, i CAN get it done, and i CAN do it well!

i've also been thinking about how i can improve on this for next time. for example, tying my framed poster to my canopy so it doesn't blow away/fall down regularly. put my clock on the ground where i can see it and where the wind won't knock it down. get bricks to hold my signs in place. and, more importantly, team up with the other chair-massage lady (emily, who is awesome, by the way) so that we can support each other. cuz let's face it, 6 hours of chair massage in a hot parking lot in the texas summer is NOT good for you. i have a canopy (she doesn't), she has a great massage chair (mine is crap), and we're not trying to be competitive about this. so i think next time, and going forward in general, we'll share a booth: one person do the morning and one the afternoon, and we'll BOTH promote our businesses, and it'll be great.

i totally totally totally and utterly heart my new town. it's so inspiring to see so many amazing people showcasing their passions and the fruits of their labors. it's so inspiring to see a small group of people and a good idea have so much success on their very first try. it's so inspiring to feel so much love for my town (especially since we're going to be here a while...). i heart denton!

(thanks to joe for taking all these candid photos at the market -- i was too busy to walk around so it was good to be able to see what was going on! you're the best, joe!)

follow up to the bike meeting

2010-03-25T02:51:00.002+01:00

hey hey!

so, more publicity for monday night's bike meeting. nice!

here is an article from the north texas daily and here's another one from my favorite facebook friend, bike denton: full of responsible, proactive, amazing, inspiring folks full of good ideas and energy to make this city even better than it already is. read their perspectives on what happened at monday's meeting. soooo exciting to be a part of this!

yes we can!

last night's bike meeting

2010-03-23T15:14:00.003+01:00

the bike-input meeting last night at the civic center went really well, i think. i'm totally new to this "civic duty" and "activism" stuff, and it's one of my first experiences with city government, but i felt pretty fired up and i think the meeting had a good flow to it, so i was pleased. there were probably over 50 people there, including gracie, her friend stone, and another child, maybe about 6 or 7 years old. i was surprised to see how many people there who didn't look like bikers (as in, not crunchy hippie student types, or really skinny dudes in spandex shorts) -- they were all just people like you and me: old timers who owned houses, had jobs and kids, and who cared about the environment, their health, and the safety of cyclists on the streets. it was pretty cool.

my friend and neighbor, pauline, and i biked with our kids in tow to the civic center, taking side streets most of the way. we arrived just as they were making an announcement that the meeting was starting. after signing in and grabbing a survey, we took our seats towards the back. stone ran around and kicked a ball and played with the candy machines, and gracie drew pictures and chased stone. they were SOOOO GOOD! we were so proud of them! they talked quietly, played nicely, and didn't interrupt anyone! WAY TO GO, STONE AND GRACIE!!!

a man who worked for the city as an engineer (clayton somebody i think?) gave a presentation, talking about our city's goals, where we're at, what's been done so far, the work that needs to be done, ideas to get it done, etc. then he gave us the schedule for the rest of the meeting, and with that we were invited to leave our seats and go draw on giant city maps with markers -- we highlighted the routes that we would like to see improved with bike lanes and sidewalks, etc. that whole process lasted about 20 - 30 minutes, and then we were called back to order. (the way they got us to get back into our seats again was to turn off all the lights. gracie talked about that the rest of the night: "turn off lights, mama. why dey do dat? dark! dark in dere, mama!") it was really cool and really inspiring to see so many people all working together to improve our city, chatting with city officials and neighbors about our vision for the future, and then to be able to actually write it/draw it on official city maps, which would then be given to consultants and engineers to get this project done! yay for democracy! yay for community activism! yay for a better future!

after that, they opened up the floor for speakers. i was fortunately called up first (and gracie came with me up to the front!), and i gave a little spiel about how cyclists aren't the type i described above, but are people just like you and me who rely on bike lanes to run errands, shuttle our kids to school, and go to the park/church/library/store. then i mentioned how mixed-use city planning increases property values, which would increase property taxes, which would increase revenue for the city, so we should be especially motivated to get this done. other people talked about what they liked or didn't like about the proposed bike lanes (such as: wider outside lanes just encourage motorists to drive faster and make cyclists feel less safe -- at least paint a line there to make it OBVIOUS that it's a wider lane BECAUSE it is accommodating bikes; shared roads are ineffective because they are confusing for motorists, and shoulders definitely need to be built on those roads to improve safety; lines need to be painted to distinguish bike-friendly roads from ones that are not, etc.), and others talked about how our city is a really good size right now for implementing this plan: we've got good population density in most neighborhoods, but we're not too big (the speaker mentioned fort worth and austin as being cities that recently became "bike friendly" and they're HUGE and it cost them money to do it, but we can do it for cheap because we're not too big yet, so therefore NOW is the time to get it done.)

we left after that comment, cuz it was already late and the kids were nearing their edge. we really didn't want to push it since they had been SOOO GOOD for so long!

the ride home was BEAUTIFUL, with a half moon and lots of stars, and crisp air with a hint of woodsmoke. gracie sang "twinkle twinkle little star" the whole way home and tried to catch the moon but said it was "too tall climbing up" and "daddy moved it high". stone and i practiced giving each other high-fives while simultaneously riding our bikes. it was fun.

there will be another meeting on april 13: these ideas which were generated at last night's meeting will be presented to city council. i believe the meeting will be at 4 pm at city hall, but i will let you know when/if that changes. right now, it is set for 4/13 (tuesday) at 4:00 pm. i hope you can join us in making a difference in our community!!!

come to the meeting with us!

2010-03-19T23:09:00.003+01:00

as most of you know, gracie and i ride our bike to her preschool on a somewhat-regular basis. in fact, we try to ride the bike everywhere we go: to the store, to church, to the park, etc. one of the biggest reasons we purchased a house in the neighborhood we chose was because it appeared bikeable to most places.

but it's come to our attention pretty quickly that our town is NOT a bike-friendly town. little to no bike lanes, VERY FEW crosswalks, extra-wide roads which only encourage motorists to drive faster (rather than creating extra space for bikes), etc.

fortunately, it doesn't have to be this way. on monday, march 22 at 7 pm at the civic center, there will be a meeting to hear what you, the concerned citizens of our fair city, have to say about how we can improve bike and pedestrian access throughout the city. our ideas will be recorded and presented to city council, and will help to generate change in our community. this is an especially auspicious time for change because of the new light rail system which will soon be coming to town, in addition to proposed bike lanes and increased bus traffic to/from the new light rail station and the university, circling downtown. in addition, federal transportation secretary ray lahood spoke this week about integrating more alternative-transportation into our national infrastructure:

"This is the end of favoring motorized transportation at the expense of non-motorized. We are integrating the needs of bicyclists in federally-funded road projects. We are discouraging transportation investments that negatively affect cyclists and pedestrians."

you can read more on his blog at

http://fastlane.dot.gov/2010/03/my-view-from-atop-the-table-at-the-national-bike-summit.html

my point is this: COME TO THE MEETING ON MONDAY!!! city council tends to think that the only people riding bikes in this city are hippie students. though they do exist on our streets, i have found that a vast majority of cyclists tend to be people just like me: parents and homeowners, who are dedicated to this town and who WANT to teach their children a better, gentler way of living on this planet. if people like me (people like YOU!) don't come to the meeting, then city council will continue to think that the only people who care about bike lanes are students, who don't pay taxes and who don't vote and who are only "passing through" on their way to graduation.

(they deserve bike lanes too, but you get what i'm trying to say here...)

COME TO THE MEETING! gracie and i will both attend, and even if we can't stay until the end, i at least want them to see our presence there. will you join me?

monday
march 22
7:00 pm
civic center

thanks for your support!

happy tooyoo, gwacie!

2010-02-13T14:41:00.010+01:00

that's how gracie sings "happy birthday": she goes, "happy! tooyooooo..... mamaaaa!" or "happy! tooyooooo, mousieeee...." or whoever she's thinking about. daddy, mema, her friend audrey at school... lately, we'd been thinking about HER birthday, since she just turned two years old a week ago.

i remember when she turned one, how upset i was that a year had passed, and she was no longer a baby anymore. we were nearly done nursing, she could feed herself, put herself to sleep, close to walking, she could say a few words and sing some songs. she just seemed like a big girl already. and i was saaaad. but this year, i was REALLY excited about her birthday party because it seems like she's been two FOREVER now. she's just so BIG, and so intellectually developed, and so physically capable... i've been saying "she'll be two in a couple of months," for a couple of months already! so this was just a great excuse to finally have a party that honored this life event for all of us. what a big girl she is!

my mom flew out here for the event, and she and i spent a few days before shopping for the party: streamers, party favors, food, paper plates. but the night before the "big day," she got violently ill. so she was down for the count, which normally i think would have totally stressed me out, since i was counting on her! but i don't know, i just went with it... i thought to myself how much does a two year old really care that the house is a mess, or the cake didn't turn out right, or the decorations aren't exactly perfect? and it turned out to be a HUGE help. that, and adam, of course. that man is a freaking rock star. he helped me get the place cleaned up, dug out the decorations, hung them up, and basically did everything that needed to be done. i just hung out in the kitchen and made up the food. he did all the work!

so it was the night before the party, and we stayed up until about 10:30 pm decorating and prepping. i scrubbed the bathroom before bed. (not the ideal time to scrub a bathroom, but really, what is?) woke up early to shower, get dressed, finish up the food... you guys, seriously: we were SO on top of it, that we were ready for the party a full hour before the guests were set to arrive! so proud of us!

it was so much fun to see the expression on gracie's face when she woke up that morning, and found the living room all decorated with streamers, balloons, and signs. she kept pointing and saying "lookoo dat! lookoo dat!"

at about 10:00 a.m., the first party guests arrived. and they just kept streaming in, until our house was bursting with activity and friends and sticky little toddlers. i think we had about a dozen weebies, all of them under the age of three (check that: there was ONE four year old), plus their parents, plus some grandparents, plus the neighbors, plus people from church, plus the neighbor's kid's friend. it was AWESOME. what i love the most is that we've only lived in this town for a few months -- and we already have a huge, loving, supportive community of friends. i really do love living here!

when adam and i greeted gracie's guests at the door, we explained to them that there was no plan for the day: there was food on the table for when they wanted to eat, and things to do outside for when they wanted to play. i think having a flexible outlook on the morning's activities really kept us (and our guests) laid-back. trying to navigate a dozen two-year-olds is like herding cats anyway, so why not just follow their lead?

when people arrived, they graciously offered gracie her gifts: seeds, plants, flowers, and herbs. we did a garden-themed party since this is the perfect time of year to get your seeds started, and gracie loves to dig, and our yard needs a load of work done on it anyway. even though it was cold and grey outside, most of the kids went outdoors anyway to dig in the dirt. some children brought flowers, which they planted into pots. some children brought seeds, which we planted in the dirt. some children brought plants (strawberry plants, a tiny rosemary bush, etc.) which we planted in the yard. it was so much fun, and just precious to see how excited they were! i asked the children to label what it is that they brought, along with their name on it, so that when that thing is big enough they can come back to gracie's garden and pick it with her. gracie's friend milo brought carrot seeds (among others) which we planted in the soil. i've been told that every day since then, he's woken up and asked his dad if the carrots are ready to eat yet. he's very excited, and we are too!

after we finished planted things (omg, there's still so much more to plant out there! i'm so excited to get it all in the ground!), we came inside and found that people had started to eat lunch. god bless americans! they make throwing a party soooo easy! i love how they just help themselves, so i don't have to be constantly running around, filling drinks and offering more food to eat. just point them in the right direction and they'll do it themselves! hallelujah! so when we came indoors, we found that everyone inside had already started to dig in to the homemade macaroni and cheese i had set out in a couple of crockpots. the kids headed straight for the fresh fruit (strawberries, blueberries, mangoes, and kiwi!), and the lemonade and juice boxes were replenished in people's hands.

after eating our lunch, we got out gracie's birthday treat: dirt cake! crumbled up chocolate graham-crackers, layered with pudding, whip cream, butter, powdered sugar, and cream cheese. and gummi worms throughout! yum! i screwed up the recipe the night before, as i realized i only had half the amount of pudding that i needed, but again i figured that a 2-year old wouldn't care, so why would i? it was a huge hit, and the kids kept coming back for more gummi worms to pull out of the dirt. (plus, it was uber-easy to make, and i'd totally do it again, and if you want the recipe just email me and i'll send it to you!)

the rest of the time we all just kinda hung out, dancing and throwing balloons around. playing in the ball pit, playing with gracie's "elmos", and playing with each other. the party was a huge success, and i think everyone had a good time. most importantly, GRACIE had a good time, and adam and i felt calm and happy throughout. it was so much fun!

snow day!

2010-02-12T15:48:00.007+01:00

so, who knew texas had all FOUR seasons?

i've been complaining to adam for some time now that the only reason i agreed to move here in the first place was because i thought it was SUNNY AND WARM all the time... but since september all it's seemed to do is rain rain rain! (it's a good thing i actually like my town and love my neighbors, or i'd be on the first plane back to colorado for good! -- or holland for that matter -- the weather seems to be the same there as it is here!)

but then, just when i think i'm sick of winter and i'm ready for spring already, we get a BEAUTIFUL snowstorm that has paralyzed our city for two days! it's soooo pretty!

last i heard, we got 11 inches (28 cm) of wet, sticky, heavy snow yesterday. the airport in dallas was virtually shut down, with hundreds of flights cancelled due to the weather. both adam's and gracie's schools were closed yesterday, and again today because of it. and no wonder -- i don't even know if our city owns a single snowplow, and i doubt my neighbors have windshield scrapers for their cars! besides that, the stores down here just don't sell winter boots and parkas, so when the weather gets cold and wet like this, you pretty much see people wearing sweaters over sweatshirts, and a couple of pairs of socks for layers instead of good, warm, winter boots. better to just stay home!

yesterday we built a snowman -- an activity we may never get to do again here in texas. i've selected only a couple of pictures here because they're all in front of our house and i don't want to publish pics of the outside of our house on the blog. but needless to say, we all had a great time. our snowman, when all was said and done, stood about 5 feet tall, with a real carrot nose, acorns for eyes, arms that were sticks from that big maple tree that fell down back in september, and a scarf that my mom made. i was so glad i was feeling better (just the day before i was sick in bed all day long with a fever of 102 f -- 38.8 celsius -- but by 5:00 pm yesterday i was right as rain, so we all took advantage of the snow day to build a snowman!) then inside for some homemade spicy tomato soup and biscuits. the house still smells like last night's dinner as i type this the next morning -- how wonderful! (it's making me hungry for breakfast, actually...)

walking outside this morning, it just felt like a peaceful winter day: our street is absolutely quiet, covered with a blanket of heavy white snow. nearly every neighbor has their car parked in the driveway, as most businesses have cancelled their normal operations today. (only poor cal, the best neighbor ever, has to trudge through the icy, slushy streets to manage his quality control something-or-another over by the city airport... drive safe, cal!) i was able to dig out my old ice-fishing boots from when i used to live in minnesota (good thing i thought to bring them to texas!) and tromped through the deep flakes all up and down the street to take these pictures for you, dear reader, before gracie woke up this morning. it was all i could do to come back inside... i wish i could play out there all day!

so, wherever you are today, i hope you enjoy your day as much as we will enjoy ours! what a very special (if somewhat disturbing) treat, to have a blizzard in texas! (and they say global warming is a myth... think again!)

mema biss

2010-02-08T23:28:00.004+01:00

i've alluded to it before, but haven't told you the story yet: gracie and her "mema biss."

when gracie was still an itty bitty, way back in the summertime when we still lived in holland, gracie saw a fly flitting around the house. she wanted to know what it was. we said "fly" and then made the sound for it: "bzzz bzzz bzzz!" gracie, still too little to make the "zzz" sound, said "psss! psss! psss!"

shortly after that, ANYTHING associated with bugs became "psss psss": dustbunnies, appleseeds, cobwebs, other bugs, etc. if it was little and looked like a bug, or something that came from a bug, it was "psss psss!"

now, she didn't have a favorite blanket for a long time. but eventually she became attached to these handmade crocheted blankets that my mom had made for her. she liked them cuz they were so fuzzy, and gracie has always liked to tug on and touch fabrics, even when she was just an infant. (i remember nursing her when she was just tiny, and she'd get her arm behind me and start just flailing it around, feeling the fabric behind us: the couch, an afghan throw, a fleece blanket, a wicker chair back, etc.) these fuzzy blankets had a nice way of peeling little bits of fuzz off of them when she picked at them, which was an activity she enjoyed doing as she was trying to settle down to sleep, or relax from an exciting activity.

i noticed it when we were on our trip to oxford: gracie had this insistency in her voice, wanting something "pss pss psssss!" i figured out that she was asking for her blanket. i'd hand it to her and instantly she'd melt; she'd pick fuzz off that thing until she had finally recovered her senses and could function again in the world. when i told adam this, he said that he had the same experience with her -- so we started asking gracie if she needed her "pss pss" whenever she was upset about something.

eventually the word became "biss biss", and then just shortened to "biss". she had two of these "bisses" (or is it "bissen"?), both of which were becoming pretty ratty and bald since she spends all day long picking fuzz off of them. then my mom, gracie's "mema", made her a nice new heavy pink and purple one for naptime at school; she mailed it in a carepackage along with a bunch of other goodies, and put this new biss at the bottom of the box. gracie and i were opening the box together, admiring the little knick knacks that her mema got for our new house here in texas, when all of a sudden gracie shouts "BIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS!" and practically DIVES into the box to grab this new blanket. she ran away and sat in a corner and just sat and picked and picked and picked the fuzz off that thing for the rest of the day. ever since then, it's been her "mema biss" since it's a biss that mema made.

my mom is out here right now to celebrate gracie's birthday with us, and to keep herself busy she's made gracie a nice, new, blue biss. (blue is gracie's favorite color.) as soon as she finished it, we showed it to gracie and said "look, gracie! another new biss!" she took one look at it, screamed "mema biss!" and ran the other way to get her mema biss. she has shunned this blue one entirely, which is VERY unfortunate because it's about a third the size and weight of the other, monstrous, mema biss. maybe we can convince her eventually, but i doubt it!

our first visit to the emergency room

2010-01-28T19:06:00.006+01:00

and hopefully our last.

before i go any further, gracie is fine now. really. looking at her today, you'd never know the scare she gave us last night. and to spare myself the emotional trauma of having to relive this story over and over, with all of my wonderful friends and family asking me "what happened?! how can i help?", i have decided to just write it all down here. if i never speak of it again it will give me some comfort... never in my life do i EVER want to experience what happened last night at dinner.

gracie woke up with rosy cheeks -- rosier than usual, that is. but she seemed fine all day. had a great day at school, her teacher even told me that gracie was especially polite and helpful all day. after school we went to the library together to check out some new books and play on the computers. then home to make dinner.

she had rosy cheeks when i picked her up from school, and when we came home she was pretty lethargic. that part was pretty typical, though, since she's SO BUSY at school all day long, and when she gets home she usually just wants to veg out before dinner, then go to bed early. but those rosy cheeks... i wondered if she was coming down with something?

she was irritable before dinner, and very lethargic. we washed her up, sat her down to eat at about 6:10, and we sat down to join her. adam and i had both just taken our first bites when adam looks over to ask gracie something. she just sat there, with this vacant look on her face, like she was just frozen. we started to shake her, ask her what was wrong, "GRACIE TALK TO ME!" but she was just out of it.

then she turned blue.

then her eyes started to sink into her head.

then the whites of her eyes turned blue too. her lips were purple. she was ashen and unresponsive, though her eyes were still open. she was barely breathing -- just quiet gasps here and there, like her windpipe was closing up.

we ripped her out of her seat, and i started doing everything i could to clear her airway. i scraped my finger down her throat to remove the stuck food. nothing there. i held her upside down and slapped her on the back while shaking her. nothing came out. i did baby heimlich, as much as i knew how. still nothing. meanwhile, adam was on 911 demanding that paramedics get here NOW NOW NOW! "TELL US WHAT TO DO!!!!"

and this is where i was at emotionally: when my daughter wasn't breathing, and was turning blue and ashen and her eyes were fading out, and i saw her life force leaving her body, i stopped thrashing her around. this is where i was at: if my daughter was dying, and i couldn't save her life, i didn't want her last feeling on this earth to be one of her mother hitting her or pounding on her chest. i laid her down, i cried, and i told her that i loved her. i held her tightly and begged her to be okay. i refused to let her last sensation be one of violence. if gracie was dying, then i wanted her last feeling to be of love and comfort.

then she started to breathe.

omg, the most wonderful sound. small gurgles at first, then tiny gasps, then her color started to come back.

the police arrived first. he told us that the ambulance was right behind him.

gracie stared up at me, locking eyes with me, but somehow not engaging me either. just looking, still seeming distant though. she played with my hair, so gently, and gasped and gurgled and was very quiet and still and looked confused and passive.

the paramedics rushed in, attached something to gracie to see what her oxygen level was (it was 97% at that point -- so, almost perfect), checked her pulse, shined a light in her eyes. we all wondered if she maybe had a seizure...

i rode in the back of the ambulance with gracie while adam followed in the car. she was "stable" in the ambulance, but still not verbal. not really pointing to things and telling me what was going on (which is a common activity for gracie, especially if it's something new).

adam was already at the hospital when they wheeled gracie and i out of the back of the ambulance. brought us into a room where three different people asked us at three different times her name, address, age, and what happened. we were both so shaken we could barely speak. i thought to myself "why don't you all be here at the SAME TIME so i only have to relive this story once?"

within about half an hour, she was finally, and miraculously, starting to speak again. her first words were to her daddy, of course, and they were about the red light attached to her finger to measure her vitals. about 20 minutes after that she decided she wanted to walk around. about a half hour after that, the doctor finally saw her. and by then, you'd swear nothing was the matter at all. she was walking around the hospital, pushing the stool around, walking on the different colored tiles, and drinking some apple juice that the nurses brought for her. she wanted to know if we could go to mcdonald's, and if the doctor wanted to come with. "fries!" she demanded.

dr. harris, our ER doctor, said it sounded like a "febrile seizure." a seizure that is triggered by a fever. he explained to us that it will likely happen again, and told us what to do if and when it does. gave us some children's motrin to lower her fever (she had a temp of 98.2 in the ambulance, but a few minutes later at the hospital she was at 101.4).

when i was a child, i used to have seizures too. like gracie, i would hold my breath. unlike gracie, mine were triggered by a bad bump on the head, or falling off my bike, or something like that. and my poor mother could only hold me and pray that i come out of it. and that's what is so infuriatingly terrifying about watching your child have a seizure: there is literally nothing you can do about it. if she's choking, you do the heimlich. if she's not breathing, you do CPR. if she's bleeding, you put a bandaid on it. but if she's seizing... you just wait. and pray. and pray some more.

i grew out of my seizures by about the age of 10. febrile seizures usually only stick around until a child is 4 or 5. however, children who have febrile seizures are twice as likely to have a seizure disorder as an adult. but it's really not very common for that to happen. conversely, apparently 1 out of every 25 children has had at least one febrile seizure. most of them grow out of it, though many will repeat the episode before they do. i had seizures as a child, and i grew up to be just fine. i haven't had a seizure since i was in the 2nd grade, though i took meds for them until i was 10 years old. i pray desperately for gracie to grow out of it too.

i pray i will never see this again. but i have a feeling i will.

last night, after adam and i got home and put gracie to bed, we sat and held each other and cried together. we reflected on how we reacted in a time of crisis: while feeling terrified, we BOTH had a simultaneous feeling like this was just a drill. that it was going to be okay. there was a sort of distance that we had, like we were watching ourselves go through the motions of saving our daughter's life. like, this wasn't real... we don't know if it was a coping mechanism that all humans have in times of crisis, in order to stay calm (though we were hardly calm, as i was screaming and adam was yelling at the 911 operator to hurry up). i think it was God telling us that it was going to be okay. i think She was telling us that gracie was going to be fine, to calm down, that she wasn't dying. in fact, at some point during the seizure, before she came to again, i did suspect, i had a feeling that she was having a seizure. i don't know how i knew it, how i felt it, how i was able to panic while also feeling calm in the feeling that she was going to survive -- but i felt it. adam felt it too.

we hardly slept last night. that is, gracie slept great -- nearly 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep. i slept in the "big girl bed" in her room while she slept in the crib. adam took the couch, which i thought wasn't much different than him just sleeping in his own bed -- but he assured me it WAS different. "i'm at the ready," he said. i drifted off to sleep, then would wake up with a start and listen desperately to hear her breath... she was breathing. normally. i would drift off again. then wake up with a start, listen for her breath... and on and on until morning. adam woke up a few times to come in and feel her temperature and adjust the blankets accordingly. we both woke up exhausted and still shaken. gracie, however, is enjoying her rainy day at home, playing board games and watching nickelodeon. she seems perfectly fine.

we had a pediatrician appointment this afternoon. and after "squeezing" us in, the dr. still spent over half an hour with us, reassuring us that everything was going to be fine. needless to say, that was exactly the amount of attention and the news we wanted at that time! he explained to us the likelihood of gracie having another seizure, what that would look like, what we need to do the next time it happens, and explained to us that a seizure of that duration did NOT cause any brain damage. he told us that if gracie ever has a seizure WITHOUT a fever, then it's a whole different ball game. but the fact that she had a seizure and then had a fever afterwards, tells him it was almost certainly a febrile seizure. she will be okay. she wasn't hurt in the process. she might have one again. she'll be fine that time too.

and for now, besides her sinus infection which caused this fever which caused the seizure, she is fine. adam and i are decidedly NOT fine. it's horrifying to sit down to dinner, and then watch your child dying the very next moment, and there's nothing you can do about it. i don't know if i'll ever be able to wipe that image and that fear from my mind. but gracie's okay, she wasn't dying, she's going to be just fine, and that's what's most important. in fact, looking at her now, you'd never even know it happened. you'd just think she was a little girl with a runny nose and a fever. it's amazing how quickly she bounced back. i think it will take adam and me a bit longer to recover...

why write about this? cuz i want you all to know that our daughter needs prayers. that we need support and love. that candles need to be lit, and guardian angels need to be present. but i do NOT want to talk about it. i really don't want to answer all your questions, like how it happened, where and when it happened, how i'm doing emotionally, how gracie is doing physically, what the doctors said, what's next for us... i don't want to talk about it anymore, cuz it's just too traumatic to relive in my mind. i can't erase that image of gracie's ashen face, and i don't want to have to conjure it up to answer your questions. that's why i wrote this -- to answer them all, once and for all, and then to move on. i'm tired, i'm shaken, and i'm traumatized. it's all i can do not to scoop her up in my arms and hold her tight and never let her go -- i'm convinced it's going to happen again any minute, and i want to be with her to comfort her when it does. gracie, however, has other ideas. she wants to dance to "mickies" (music) and play with her trucks, and all my snuggling really cramps her style.

so. that's what's going on here. please pray, please light candles, please keep us in your thoughts. i will send more news as it happens. and please understand if i don't reply to your email messages or phone calls about this. as i said, i am too traumatized to speak of it again. just know that i appreciate your concern and i'm touched by your love, and i want to move on and pretend it never happened. i DON'T want to talk about it again. i hope you can understand. thank you for your prayers.

gracie's words

2009-11-15T14:45:00.005+01:00

december 28, 2009: i have been working on this blog entry for nearly 2 months and it's still not done! mostly because every day i see gracie do another amazing thing, or hear her say another totally complicated word or sentence, and so i have to add it to this entry and basically it's just not getting completed... so even though i would love to edit this more to make it flow better, and make it absolutely comprehsive, i know i just have to move on. what i envision for the future of this blog, now that we're back from europe and not having any more fabulous adventures, is to dedicate this space to gracie and her funny stories, and her developmental milestones and accomplishments. so, apologies in advance for the incoherency of this post, cuz i'm just posting it and letting it go... and please start checking back more often because there are so many great stories to tell you about mary grace!

....

i have been meaning to write this post since mg was less than a year old... it's been fascinating to see/hear her communicate, to be a witness to the inner workings of her mind, to have conversations and tell JOKES with her. watching another human being evolve is truly mindblowing and inspiring... and this whole "learning how to talk" phase is probably my favorite so far... fewer bruised noggins than learning how to walk, no sticky messes to clean up like when she's learning how to feed herself, and definitely more fun than potty training, which is a hit-or-miss (usually a miss) for her. gross!

we started out when she was only a few months old, with baby sign language. there have been countless studies on this subject, none of which i have read or know much about. but i remember that when i used to work in a daycare back in boulder, we used baby sign language in the infant room and it had great success. so we thought, why not try it with gracie?

i can't remember when exactly she signed her first sign, but it was well before her 1st birthday. maybe as young as 10 months old i think??? and, of course, it was the sign for "all done." all done with her diaper change, all done with putting on her shoes, all done with her dinner, all done with riding on the train, all done all done all done! i think if we would have taught her the sign for "no" she probably would have signed that one first...

she quickly picked up on other signs: eat, drink, diaper, sleep, more/i want, hat... we even made up signs of our own: we made up one for pacifier, street sweeper, and even gracie designed her own sign for the word "butterfly." (waving her arms back and forth, but not up and down -- more like her hands would come in towards her heart, and then out again at shoulder level -- not like a bird's wings, but like doing the breast stroke sort of.) don't ask me how she came up with it, or even how we knew what she was saying, but for some reason we were still able to communicate. we totally understood her the very first time she signed it!

her very first spoken word was mama, of course. even when she was an infant, when she would cry, she would go, "aaaah, ma ma ma maaaa, mama, ma ma..." but we both kinda knew that she was just babbling. (though it broke my heart to hear her crying and saying "mama" at the same time!) but one day, sometime around 6 or 7 months old, she figured it out. suddenly "mama" took on new meaning. though she still said it mostly when she was crying, there was something about the insistence of her voice that made me really feel that she was calling out for her mama. she was forceful and intentional about it, like she was asking for me. don't ask me how i knew she was saying "mama" and not just babbling anymore, but i knew. the sound of her voice was different.

her next word was "book." but it came out like "ba." but again, there was something about the insistence of her voice, and the context she was in -- i handed her a book at 10 months old, and she said "ba". she quickly learned to say "ba" for a whole mess of things after that, but for a few good days, she would only say "ba" if she saw a book. so i know she was saying it, even if after that EVERYTHING became "ba."

(i think it's kind of like when a child learns what a doggie is, and will say "doggie", but then pretty soon afterwards ALL fuzzy animals become doggies. cats are doggies, cows are doggies, mice are doggies... i think that's what happened with mg -- "ba" was book, but then "ba" was pretty much any inanimate object she could hold.)

her language skills were still slow for a while, learning a new word every week or so. her list was pretty short until around 18 months -- her primary ones were "light" (la la la la...), "shoes" (sees!), "steps" (baps), and the dutch word for bike ("fiets" but she said it more like "seets"). she would say "pedals" (peh-nos), since the pedals of the bikes really interested her a lot, and soon after that she would also say "wheel" (wee-o). basically, if it was on a bike she was interested in it and wanted to know/say the word for it.

(she still says "fiets" a lot when she's talking about a bike. and if someone is riding on a bike, she will correctly call that person a "fietser". she doesn't have very many dutch words, but that one she has held onto pretty well.)

her comprehension was amazing, too. at 11 months, we could ask her to point to nearly any body part and she'd do it -- nose (that one was hard cuz it was somewhere in front of her face but she could never see it), ears, head, hair, belly, hands. ask her to do something, like clap her hands or wave to daddy, and she'd know exactly what was just requested of her and then she'd just do it! (soooo glad we taught her sign language so she could communicate back to us! she understood so much already but just didn't have the physiological make-up to be able to tell us what she wanted! hence, signing with the hands instead of crying to get what she wanted...)

something happened around the time she turned a year and a half, and all of a sudden her language just took off! i don't know if it's because something happens to ALL children at that age (does it? i don't know...), or if it was the fact that we were now living in the united states, and she wasn't hearing two languages all day long. even though we spoke primarily english at home (occasionally we'd speak dutch to gracie or to each other), whenever we left the house we'd be speaking in dutch. nearly everything in the home was in one language, and nearly everything outside the home was in another language. i wondered if this bilingual environment might have stalled her language skills? not stunted her skills -- since at 21 months she clearly has a commanding grasp of this whole communication thing. but stalled, perhaps? maybe she didn't know the correct word for "blue" or for "cup", since she's heard it from me and adam and everyone else in her world two different ways?

or maybe she just didn't have a million zillion words yet cuz she just didn't hit that developmental milestone yet... regardless of the reason, by the time she turned 18 months (and at which point we moved back to the usa), her words all caught up to her. at her year-and-a-half checkup with her pediatrician, he asked me if she was speaking and how many words she knew. off the top of my head, i guessed about 30 words, not including ALLLL of her animal sounds. (she learned her animal sounds right away! like, maybe at only 14 months, she knew them ALL -- doggie, cow, bird, horsie, cat, fishie -- that one was her first -- monkey, elephant, dinosaur...) once i got home, and started making a list, i realized she knew over SIXTY words (not including her animal sounds, which she would say instead of the name of the animal. for example, if she saw a dog, she wouldn't say "doggie" but she would instead start barking or panting or something, while pointing at the dog. does that count as a word? cuz she's totally getting her point across.)

anyway, after we moved, her language skills just totally exploded and expanded exponentially. she suddenly learned one, two, three different words a day! she can say it all! we can't even count how many words anymore... let's just say it numbers in the HUNDREDS. she's even able to combine words to make simple sentences. some of her favorites:

"gwacie do self" (this is her favorite. she says it ALLL the time)

"daddy some too"

"mama coming" (when she wants me to come too. not as in, mama is coming, but "mama, are you coming? come with, mama!")

"moh-ee appo-doocy puh-lees!" (more apple juice please)

"too munch wah-mee." (too warm.)

"ov-ooh? ov-ooh?" (can you move over there?)

"how bout ov-ooh he-uw" (how about over here?)

and one she just learned over the christmas break: "nice to meet you." said perfectly. she's amazing!

she seems to have a hard time saying her "r" sound -- so "bear" sounds like "bay-uw", and "gracie" comes out like "gwacie." the one that's hardest for other people to understand is the way she says "more" ("moh-ee"). she says "more" pretty much all the time, but it's the MOST hilarious when we give her a little treat like a cookie or something, and AS SOON AS IT'S POPPED IN HER MOUTH she starts asking for "mow-ee", with crumbs flying out of her mouth and cheeks stuffed full of sweet cookie goodness. a mouth full of cookie, not even swallowed yet, asking for "mow-ee". too cute!

so the biggest reason i wanted to write this post is because i wanted to document some of our favorite words (and some of gracie's too). on the left is the word she's trying to say, and the the one on the right is how it sounds coming out of her mouth (as if that wasn't already obvious to you reading this)...

so here we go:

alligator -- ah-goo-goo (also said as a farewell -- as in "see you later alligator." but she'll just say ah-goo-goo!)

steps -- baps (don't know why, it's always been this way. i know she can say the word "steps" but for some reason she chooses to say "baps" instead.)

her special blanket -- biss (i'll write a story about this on a future blog, cuz it's cute)

binky (pacifier) -- bee

snuggle -- suh-go (but snuggle can also apparently be a solo activity for her -- as in, "i want some down time by myself." it's so funny to hear her say "suh-go selfie" -- snuggle by myself. whatever, gracie! we know what you want, even if you aren't able to say it right quite yet!)

banana -- bilah-bilee (what?? that was weird and cute. now she says it properly, but for months there they were bilah-bilees.)

spatula -- pah-too-lu-la

hamburger -- ham-oh-goo-gee (her word for helicopter sounds a lot like this too)

all done -- ah dah-ee (though now it sounds more like ah-dun. she's getting better!)

thank you -- dayt doo

excuse me -- kee me

shower -- shao-ee

if she wants you to move out of the way, she'll say "beep beep way!"

music -- mickies

star -- how i (as in "how i wonder what you are" -- the first words she could sing,)

santa claus -- sahn-tah baby (she heard that eartha kitt song a while back and now she's hooked. so santa claus has been replaced by santa baby. in fact, she knows most of the words to that song already, and she and i sing it together every day!)

juice -- doos (or doosie)

love you -- lufoo (my favorite of course)

noodles -- noo-nahs

water -- lah-low (sounded exactly the same as "yellow" for several weeks there. now she says wah-doo, but it wasn't always that way!)

oatmeal/malt-o-meal -- mah-poh-no-nee

yogurt -- loo-koo (strange since she can say the word "yoga" just fine. but yogurt seems to be more difficult for her.)

mine -- MAI-NT!!!

onion -- uh-nee

dishes -- dissies

nijntje -- nai-shee (nijntje is a dutch storybook character, and gracie has lots of nijntje books)

blanket -- bin-kins

napkin -- mah-kee! (or, when i try to correct her, and i say "nuh nuh nuh nuh NNNapkin", then mg will say "nuh nuh nuh nuh MAHKEE!" ha! rae thinks it's because she could say the word "map" when she was still quite little, and when she unfolds a napkin it unfolds similar to a map.)

pepperoni -- pah-poo-no-nee

chocolate milk -- tahk-ee mahk

goodnight -- ga-light

circle -- soo-koo

L M N O P -- umma numma numma numma PEEE!

she can, of course, say lots of words perfectly. and lots of words close enough. it's just a few words where we seem to have our own language with her -- baps, loo-koo, biss, etc. and naturally she still says lots of dutch words (fiets, dadel, klompen, slaapzak, etc.). she doesn't seem to understand dutch now as well as she did when we lived in hengelo, but that's our fault from not exposing her to enough of it. we do still speak dutch to her occasionally, and if we keep doing it then she'll learn it once again.

when she farts (or if one of us do, of course i NEVER do, but let's just say hypothetically...), she will not only tell us what she did, but how it sounded. so, she'll tell us it was a "thunder fart" (fun-noo faht!). this makes us laugh EVERY time she says it. maybe we shouldn't encourage such "vile" behavior, but we can't help it. hearing a little girl yell "fun-oo faht" as fast as she can. sure is a riot! adam is trying to teach her the phrase "monkey feces" (why in the world he wants to teach her that i have no idea) -- but she says "monkey faces" instead. good girl!

if another child is crying, she will start whining and pretend to cry too, to emulate compassion and sympathy for her upset friend. then she'll just stop what she's doing, look at a grown-up, and with a totally serious face will say "cwy-ning!" then go back to pretend-crying again. it was cute at first, but now it's starting to get not so fun because... well, let's face it, it's kind of a not-so-nice noise to hear. so we've started to ask her what laughing sounds like, since she knows what crying already sounds like. and she'll start laughing. what about surprise, gracie? what about excited, gracie? trying to redirect her. so far it seems to be working, let's hope it stays that way!

along with that, she basically loves narrating what's going on. thunder fart, for example. crying, for example. if she hears a loud noise, she'll be sure to stop what she's doing to tell us it's noisy. if she hears a lawnmower or leaf blower (which is often here in texas), she'll tell us someone's working by saying "lawn!". if there is an airplane, she'll yell "ah-pain!" and then make airplane sounds, and tell us "clouds" and "bye-bye". she loves to tell us stories about her day: the fire ants that bite you when you step on them, the truck that aiden stole from her at school, her cousin who slept in her room over thanksgiving, her mema who lives in minnesota and made ghosties with her... i could go on and on and on and on and... she pretty much is always telling us what's going on, what she sees, or what she wants to be doing. it's constant. (and, isn't it nice that my daughter wants us to know what's going on in her head? wait about 10 years or so and i'll be desperate to know what she's thinking...)

even with her made-up words, and mispronunciation of other words, we completely understand her, and most people get what she's trying to say. we are always so proud of her, naturally, of her accomplishments and her curiosity, and are pleased to see how clever and bright she is. but mostly, we love how HAPPY she is, and how everything she does/experiences/sees brings her so much JOY. this is evident not only in her sunny personality, but her eagerness to learn and understand everything around her. everything EVERYTHING fascinates her, and she wants desperately to tell us what she's seeing, and how she's feeling, and what's going on in her world.

i'm a lumberjack and i'm okay...

2009-11-08T21:36:00.006+01:00

so how's this for ironic?

we weren't scheduled to close on our house until september 15, but jennifer smith (our loan lady who totally kicks butt) was able to get us in nearly a week ahead of schedule!

so we close on our house on a thursday. adam picks up the keys that evening. on friday we spend our very first night in our new place -- it worked out just perfectly since the things that we shipped from hengelo showed up at our house that very same day, so adam and i had a bed and most of our kitchen stuff, which is really all you need on your first day anyway. and on saturday morning at about 6:30 a.m. we woke up to a HUGE CRASHING SOUND right outside our window!

so we jump out of bed, and freak out, and turn on all the lights in order to look for the burglar who undoubtedly has broken into our home to steal our precious mary grace. (i should mention too that not only was it our first night in a new house, but it was the first night in over two months that we were sleeping in a different room than gracie.) of course, no one had broken down the door (even though it sure sounded like it), and since it was already morning anyway we decided just to make some coffee and get started unpacking before gracie woke up.

at 8:00 a.m. the cable guy showed up. he was scoping around the outside of the house to look for a good place to put up the satellite dish. then he comes back into our house and says "y'all have a big tree that broke by the garage." ugh. how's that for an auspicious start to our new beginning? had we closed on our originally scheduled date, this would be someone else's problem. but now it was ours -- i HAD to be impatient and move in sooner, didn't i? sigh...

so we head outside and sure enough there is a GINORMOUS tree branch that had broken off of our tree and crashed onto the neighbor's new fence. to make matters worse, i hadn't even met the new neighbors yet. how embarassing!

well, i'm a first-time homeowner, so my instinct is to get on the phone and call the landlord. only now, THAT'S ME! okay, okay, okay... stay calm... what do i do? what do i do? um... call the insurance guy! yeah, that's it! oh... insurance guy isn't there. um... um... um...

well, i finally get ahold of my insurance company, and i'm standing in the rain, in my pajamas, not quite sure what's going on, i hadn't had any breakfast yet, gracie's waking up soon, and the cable guy needs my input on something. and THEN my new neighbor steps out of her door to get in her car to go to the store. only thing is, the tree is blocking her. and i'm standing there looking like a doofus.

now, to make matters even MORE complicated... see that car parked in the driveway? yeah. that's a RENTAL.

well my new neighbor, nancy, is an absolute saint. she invites me in, even though i just ruined her new fence. i've got my insurance company in one ear on the phone, and nancy in my other ear, trying to introduce herself. i hang up on the insurance people, greet nancy, and apologize profusely. "hi, my name is amber and i'm your new neighbor," i blushed.

nancy insisted i come in out of the rain, even though i'm in my pajamas. oh, and did i mention i ruined her new fence? and nearly trashed her rental car? yeah. nancy's just that awesome. we sat at her kitchen table getting to know each other a little better when her husband, ed, shuffles out in his jammies too. i felt just terrible about everything, but they were so understanding and kind. in fact, THEY were the ones apologizing to ME! they just kept saying how awful they felt for us, being new to town, buying our new home, and now this happening! i left feeling a little better, even though we still had quite a mess on our hands! (but at least our neighbors turned out to be cool...)

well, as it turns out, getting a tree cleaned up in our town is easier than you'd think. turns out everyone in our neighborhood was excited to get out their chainsaws, axes, and leaf blowers to clean up our mess! after it finally stopped raining (like a WEEK later -- i'm NOT exaggerating, we got FIFTEEN INCHES [38 centimeters!] of rain that week. GROSS!)... after it finally stopped raining, most of our neighborhood came over to our place to help us clean it all up. in fact, the very same day that the tree fell down, everyone on the street came over to have a little conference in our driveway, to talk about whose son was the strongest and who had the best power tools for the job, because why pay a tree service to clean up this mess when we all want to pitch in and do it ourselves?

seriously amazing.

so we bought the beer, and two of our neighbors brought their chainsaws (in fact, i had just met one of my chainsaw-wielding neighbors that very day -- his wife was out on a walk with their son, i introduced myself to her, and when she heard about our plight she went home, WOKE HER HUSBAND UP FROM HIS NAP and sent him over to help! how's that for awesome?). another neighbor i had just met earlier that morning when gracie and i were on a walk to the grocery store -- he brought one of his sons over to lend a hand. ed and nancy, whose fence we ruined, even got out their brooms after they got home from church so that they could help sweep up the debris. whether people were there for the whole afternoon, or whether they were there for 20 minutes, EVERYONE chipped in.

so what started out as a terrible morning, turned into an amazing experience for us. we really saw the true colors of all our neighbors. this tree was no one's problem but ours, and yet everyone EVERYONE in our neighborhood came over on a sunday afternoon to chip in and welcome us home. oh, and now we have like three winter's worth of firewood too. bonus!

epilogue: the offending silver maple unfortunately had to be cut down. SAD SAD SAD i know. but after having three different tree companies come out and look at it, it became pretty obvious that it was dying and was 100% definitely going to do this again. given the high-traffic area it was in (looming over two houses, two driveways, and two backyards) we just couldn't risk having this tree come crashing down again. we were really REALLY lucky that it didn't kill anyone (gracie rides her bike in the driveway all the time, and ed and nancy's bedroom window was only a few feet from where the branch landed). we actually feel lucky that it happened when it did, so that we would find out sooner that the tree was diseased -- rather than playing, parking, and sleeping under these dangerous limbs.

the day we bought a house

2009-11-04T02:54:00.005+01:00

oh, i'm soooo sorry!

it's been AGES since i posted anything on this blog! i hope you haven't forgotten about us!

we've been busy... buying a house and all. moving, unpacking, cleaning things out, cutting down trees (more on that later), making friends, fixing the roof, trying to not float away with all the damn rain we've had in the last 2 months... but finally, things are almost normal around here. so i have a couple of moments to get you caught up. there are so many stories to tell, though, that i'll just have to go one at a time.

let's see... i guess i should start at the beginning: what it was like to buy our first house!

we got here in the early part of august, and stayed at a friend's house in a nearby suburb. it was really nice to have a huge, furnished house all to ourselves -- plus a pool! -- but it really wasn't our style, and we were anxious to move into a place of our own. luckily, we found a house we loved only a few days after we moved down here, and the owners accepted our offer within hours of us making it! we felt comfortable making an offer on this place, because i had been doing a ton of research on denton for several months, asking our realtor to send us links to places that fit our criteria. plus, i had been in contact with lots of people from around here, asking which neighborhoods to avoid and which ones to focus on. by the time we arrived, i felt like i already knew this town and what it had to offer.

we only spent a day househunting, but we saw 8 houses in that time, so we got a good feel for what was out there and which places were reasonably priced. and we both knew, the moment we walked in to this house, that it was going to be ours. in fact, a few days after our offer was accepted, i drove gracie past here so she could see it for the first time -- she looked out the car window and said "home!". i think she approved. it sent goosebumps down my arms and legs... it's like, she KNEW, and she thought it was a good fit too. amazing. we owed a HUGE thanks to our realtor, judy howard at remax/dfw, who totally TOTALLY bent over backwards and worked crazy hours to get us this house -- including helping us get our offer in in time (there was another offer that was only hours away from being accepted, and she totally trumped them!woohoo!).

anyway, next came all the paperwork -- who knew that owning property in this country was such a big deal?! i mean, when i got married, i signed one, maybe two pieces of paper, then got a new social security card, and that was about it. when i got pregnant, i didn't have to sign anything at all -- and when gracie was born i think all we had to do was register her at the gemeentehuis in hengelo, which adam tells me took all of 10 minutes. i think he signed one piece of paper to make it official. but that's it.

buying a house, however, requires countless signatures on a stack of papers three inches thick. and that's just with the lender, to find out if we even qualify for a loan in the amount we're asking for! once that was all squared away (which at the time seemed like a huge deal, but in retrospect really went rather smoothly), we just kind of had to sit and wait for all the money to get lined up so we could get the keys. we were actually able to close a week ahead of schedule, too! a big shout out to jennifer smith at 1st national bank! she was awesome!

finally it was closing day: we sat in that title company for nearly an hour and a half, and all we did was sign our names on the dotted lines. it was kind of a big deal! we take property ownership really seriously in this capitalistic society of ours! it was almost bigger than easter sunday mass, swear to god... all the ritual and order and seriousness to explain to us what a HUGE deal this was. i was exhausted at the end of it! gracie was an angel, as usual, and the title company sure did what they could to make us feel welcome, putting our names on a sign and making us cookies :-) . both judy and jennifer were there, too, to answer questions and congratulate us. they were wonderful from beginning to end!

so. we signed all these papers, but then we STILL didn't get the keys. we had to wait for the previous owners to come in and sign their house over to us. which took a couple of hours. so in the meantime, we went out for lunch at a restaurant/bar called MG's, which is only about a half mile from our new house! of COURSE we had to go there -- we call mary grace "mg" all the time, so it's "her" restaurant! it was a cute little burger place with pool tables and cheap food, and we've actually been there a couple of times since then cuz we love it so much. and because it's named after our daughter, so there's that too.

adam had to go back to work that day, i took mg back to our friend's house for a nap, and on adam's way home he swung by the title company to get the keys! hooray! it was ours, all ours! we were now homeowners! i could hardly sleep that night i was so freaking excited!

new digs!

2009-09-12T14:37:00.006+02:00

howdy, y'all!

as i type this, i am sitting on my couch in my NEW HOME, drinking coffee and listening to the rain pitter patter on the back patio. we just spent our first night here in our new house, and i am energized and excited!

a lot of you have been asking for pictures of our house, so i wanted to give you a "virtual tour" of the place. rather than clutter up your inbox with a bunch of pictures, i thought i'd make a blog entry instead.

i am not posting a picture of the front of our house, for obvious internet-stalker security reasons. but if you want to see the outside of it, you can either A) email me and i can email you back a picture, or B) come and visit!

i will, however, describe to you the house: it's this adorable little ranch-style, brick, 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom brick home, on a very quiet and wooded street. it is hard to find mature trees like this in the suburbs of dallas, because so much of this area has been built up only in the last 20 or 30 years. our house was built in the 1960's, and everyone out here seems to think that it's rather old for a house. lol! i suppose comparatively speaking, that is true!

our street is very quiet, and the only people who seem to know where our street is are the people who actually live here. there isn't much of anything back in our neighborhood, which is nice because it means there is less traffic. however, less than a kilometer/4-5 blocks away there is a nice park for gracie to play in, and about 1 kilometer/.5 miles away there is a huge supermarket. there is TONS of shopping, restaurants, cafes, and even a movie theater within a short walking distance. so we are very close to a lot of important things, but our neighborhood is BEHIND all of this stuff, so no one drives down our street!

we are also only about 3 kilometers/1.5 miles away from both adam's work and gracie's preschool! as soon as we get our bikes we will be biking everywhere, just like back in hengelo!

if you were to look at the front of our house, you would see a bunch of beautiful windows. the ones on the far left, shaped like diamonds, actually go into the garage. the next couple of big, beautiful windows look into the formal dining room. the dining room, however, will be used for adam's office and for a sort of formal sitting room/parlour (oh, my house is so nice i can have a parlour in it!). that's what you see in this picture. (ps, all of these pictures were taken before adam and i got to move in. so there is still quite a bit of furniture, etc. in the pictures, which does not belong to us.) as you can see in this photo, it has carpet, so i don't imagine we will be eating in there at all, but it makes for a perfect area for adam to do his work and to have people over for meetings. there is a cute little chandelier in this room, and lots of big closets for storage. there is also a little bar area that is built in to the wall! and, GET THIS!... there is an INDOOR flower bed in this room! that's right! i can plant flowers INSIDE my house! there is a drain that goes all the way down to the ground, so i can put some potting soil in there and plant whatever i want! maybe an indoor herb garden? fun!

when you walk in the front door, immediately in front of you, you will see the living room with a big, pretty stone fireplace, which you can see in this picture. (the fireplace has the same type of stone that matches the pillars in the front.) when you walk in, to your left is the parlour/adam's office. to the right you is a hallway with two bedrooms and a bathroom.

now back to the living room. here is another picture to show you the full view. there is a cute desk that is built in to the wall. and there is a little window in the kitchen which opens up into the living room -- so even when i am making dinner or cleaning up, i can still spend time with my family! yay!

the next picture is of the kitchen: it is taken from the center of the house -- so the last picture i just showed you, of the living room, was taken from this very same spot (but obviously looking in a different direction.) the kitchen doesn't have a lot of counter space to work/cook on, but there is a TON of storage space in the cabinets. i even have a little pantry built in! (normally i have to put my things on a bookshelf near the kitchen! this is wonderful!) what i love most about my kitchen is the fun old-west style saloon-type doors! those open up into the parlour room.

the kitchen extends to the back of the house, which is where we will put our table. it will be so nice to sit here, looking out our gorgeous windows into our backyard -- just like in hengelo!

there is another bedroom just off of the kitchen, which is the largest of the three rooms. this will be my massage office when i finally get started up again. there is a bathroom attached to this bedroom, which is not accessible to the rest of the house. and the bedroom which will be my office has a separate entrance in the backyard -- so when my clients come for their appointments, they will park in the driveway, walk through the back gate, follow the steps to the patio, and walk right in. they won't bother the rest of the house at all, and we won't bother them! how wonderful!

our bedrooms are on the other end of the house. gracie's faces the front yard, and ours faces the back. there is a bathroom adjacent to our room, and the bathroom is directly across the hall from mg's room, so we'll share it together. this bathroom actually has a bathtub in it, whereas the other bathroom (the one in the massage room) has only a shower (and toilet and sink of course). what i don't like about our bathroom is that it's carpeted (yuck!), and there is only one sink. but in our bedroom there is a little sitting area with a sink there, so i've claimed that as mine. adam calls it my "froo-froo space." whatever he wants to call it is fine by me. as long as it's mine!

something i love most of all about our house is our beautiful back yard. it's very shaded, but has a sunny patch where i'll be planting pumpkins, tomatoes, and jalapenos next summer. our patio is huge and wonderful, and i'd like to line it with terra cotta planters filled with basil and peppers and fragrant flowers and chives and cherry tomatoes and and and... one side of the backyard is almost always in the shade, so we'd like to put gracie's swingset there (whenever we find the money to get her a swingset, then that's where it will go). the other side, where my eventual garden will be planted, now has a huge, ugly, metal toolshed there. i'm thinking about posting it on craigslist and telling people they can have it for free if they can haul it out of here for me! it's GOT to go!

so there you go. that's our new home. we love it here, and i've already got some great stories to tell you about our first few moments here... but that will have to wait for another blog at another time.

y'all come on down for a visit any ol' time you want! we'll be waiting!

teaching gracie about democracy

2009-09-02T19:33:00.004+02:00

there is an important issue facing our new hometown of denton, TX: the proposed drilling of gas wells within the city limits. not only is it putting our groundwater and the foundation of our homes in danger, but the proposed site is EXTREMELY upsetting: directly across the street from a park, dozens and dozens of homes, a hospital, and a hospice center. are you kidding me? who thought up this brilliant plan?!

so last night we went to a protest. yours truly ended up on the front page of the denton record chronicle newspaper. and miss mary grace briggle also got her picture taken by another newspaper.

Protest at City Hall from NTDaily on Vimeo.

it wasn't hard to teach her how to say "no no no" to these proposed wells. she's pretty good at saying "no" already (and she's not even two years old yet!). what WAS hard was teaching her how to hold the sign properly since it was about twice as big as she was. oh, well. practice makes perfect. i hear that we're holding another rally in two weeks, so she can try it again then...

NO TO RAYZOR RANCH GAS WELLS! PEOPLE OVER PROFIT!

i forgot to tell you we went to barcelona!

2009-08-30T21:15:00.014+02:00

well, as you know, a LOT has happened over the summer. and we've hardly had a moment to catch our breath, let alone find the time to blog about it all... i'm so busy with gracie during the daytime that sitting down to my computer for any longer than 5 minutes to check my facebook account just isn't possible. and in the evenings, adam and i usually cozy up around my laptop to watch some internet tv (god bless comedycentral.com!), which means i can't be blogging at the same time. so i've fallen behind on the updates.

so, before any more time passes, i feel like i should at least mention that we went to barcelona in june. it was our last family vacation abroad before moving here to texas. it's crazy to think that it was only two months ago when we were there -- by now it almost feels like someone else's life, something that we might have read about in a magazine but something that we surely didn't experience for ourselves! time sure has a funny way of playing tricks on your memory!

anyway, here's what happened: as is typical of the briggle family, when adam gets invited to a fun european city, gracie and i inevitably tag along. (think salzburg, hamburg, athens, brussels, milan, etc... you get the point!) this time, it was in sunny and sexy barcelona. sign me up!!!

the timing for this trip was really strange: it was right after our friend shelby came out to visit, and right before our move -- basically, shelby came, a few days later we left for barcelona, and then by the time we got back we had just a little over a week to wrap it up and say goodbye. so in a way the timing was AWFUL, but in another way it was perfect -- with all of the stress of packing, bureaucratic paperwork, and going away parties, we NEEDED a holiday! and better yet, the apartment we rented for the week didn't have internet access so we were offline for eight solid days! nice!

we rented a flat, only 30 meters from the beach. and, a useful travel tip to you all: whenever going to a new city, especially if you're going to be there for more than just a couple of days, SERIOUSLY consider getting an apartment! we were looking at hotels along the beaches in barcelona, and everything was at least 180 euros a night and very small looking. but we got ourselves an apartment, very close to the beach, for 100 euros a night -- nice! we had our own kitchen to make breakfast in, a fridge for gracie's milk bottles, a washer/dryer combo, and no noisy drunk tourists running up and down the hallways. it was perfect! it was TINY, but perfect.

our apartment was on a tiny little street, not as nice as this one, but comparable. it was in one of those typical tenement buildings that you think of when you think of big european cities. we loved it! tons of grocery stores all just minutes away by foot, and as i said, REALLY close to the beach.

so this would be a typical day in barcelona: adam would wake up early, get ready for his conference, and leave before gracie and i would roll out of bed. we'd eventually wake up around 8:30 or so, sometimes as late as 9:00 (!!! -- I LOVE HAVING A GOOD SLEEPER! what a good girl!!!), and make some breakfast: usually some yummy roll or chocolatey pastry that we picked up at a bakery the day before, some fruit, and maybe some cheese or chorizo. then while she was watching dora the explorer in spanish (ever wonder what dora teaches if the show is in spanish? she teaches english -- naturally!), i would get us packed up for the beach.

i'd pack up a bag of the necessities: sunscreen, lots of water (had to buy it in giant bottles at the grocery stores in the area as the local water was NOT good), snackies, books, sand toys, towels, a blanket, camera, and a beach umbrella that was left for us by a previous renter. then we'd hit the streets!

before gracie and i got to the beach, we'd usually stop at another bakery, produce stand, or supermarket for snacks, waters, and stuff for lunch. one time we found a covered market where we got some lekker stuff for that evening's dinner. then we'd make our way to the beachfront. (and as soon as we turned the corner so she could see the beach, she would instantly scream and squeal and go "ooooh!" and point, in case i missed it and maybe forgot that she would want to go get a better look.)

we'd hang out for several hours -- i'd get us all set up in the sand, while gracie dug nicely in the shade provided by our beach umbrella. and she'd just dig! and dig, and dig, and dig. what a good girl! i'd lay next to her, reading a book (i plowed through "the kite runner" in about 4 days flat!), and then we'd get up and jump in the water. i tried to be aware of our stuff, since barcelona's beaches are notorious for pickpockets, but since gracie and i usually went to the beach in the morning, it wasn't as crowded. besides, i left my purse and most of my money back at the flat, and the only thing they could possibly steal would be the camera -- it would suck to lose our pictures, but it wouldn't ruin our vacation. so i was willing to risk it.

after several hours at the beach, usually around 1:00 or 1:30, we'd head back to our flat for a late lunch. i can't remember what i fed gracie -- it was probably something we normally would eat at home (like a hotdog and some veggies). since we had a kitchen of our own it wasn't hard to find something decent and inexpensive to feed her. while she was eating, i would be cleaning up and sweeping up all the sand, pouring it out of her beach shoes and out of our bags, and getting her crib ready for naptime. this usually took at least half an hour or more, and by the time she was ready to nap i was ready for one myself!

she was usually exhausted at this point in the day, with all the sun and sand and fresh air, so she'd fall asleep right away. then i'd get out my book, pour myself a cerveza frio and eat some chorizo and bread until she woke up.

funny story: one day gracie and i explored a different area of barceloneta beach. i kept noticing that there was this area way down along the spit that seemed much less crowded than the rest of the beach -- i didn't know why this was, i thought maybe it was just less crowded because there weren't any cafes or bars down there. so one morning she and i checked it out. and i walked almost all the way to the end, and down the sand dunes, with gracie and all of our stuff in the hot catalan sunshine... got us alllll set up, and i look around... and everyone's NAKED. like, not just topless (which is common on any public beach in barcelona), but full monty naked. they were kind of giving me looks like "what are you doing here?" and i didn't know if it was because i was a tourist, or because i had a child with me, or if it was because i was still wearing my swimsuit. but omg, i was so exhausted from the long walk that there was no way i getting us packed up again to head down to the other end of the beach. so i thought, when in rome (or in this case, barcelona), do as the romans (or the catalans) do. so i stripped down and gracie and i went skinny dipping all morning with the cute gay couples (this was also the gay beach apparently) and old hairy men. it was strange at first, but i got over my american modesty pretty quick.

the afternoons were always different: sometimes gracie and i would go find an old church to explore, or sometimes we'd find a street band to dance to. one time we took a bike ride to the gothic quarter and found our way to some famous cathedral, the name of which i forget now. the first time i wanted to go there, i was way underdressed (a common complaint by the catalans of the tourists), and the "bouncer" wouldn't let me in. this time i brought a shawl with me to drape around my shoulders, and they allowed me access.

this particular church had a pretty courtyard area with ducks and swans walking around, and a beautiful well which was said to have healing properties -- you were invited to drink from it and pour the water on the areas of your body which needed healing.

i lit a few candles before we left.

one afternoon we found a street band ("el tumbao de juana" -- they are awesome! check out their myspace page here!) which gracie LOVED LOVED LOVED. my favorite part was the handsome gentleman dressed in white, whose sole job it was was to get the beautiful ladies up and dancing to the tunes. oh, and he sold a couple of cd's as well. (we bought one!)

(trying to embed a youtube video of gracie dancing to the tunes -- if it doesn't load on your computer then follow this link to see gracie's video)

sometimes we'd just go sit at a sidewalk cafe and watch people walk by. i'd order a mojito or something fabulous like that, and gracie would sit in her chair drinking her juice, and we'd watch all the doggies and bikes and little kids run around. people watching sure is fun, isn't it gracie?!

eventually it'd be time to eat. usually we'd eat out at a restaurant, or order something to bring back to the flat. our favorite was to order the little pizzas at a cafe located on barceloneta beach. it was cheap, filling, and gracie liked to pick the sausages off her pieces, so apparently it was entertaining too.

we didn't spend all our time alone, though. there were a few days in there when adam was able to duck out early from the conference, and we did stay for a couple of extra days just so that we'd have time to explore barcelona as a family. one day we went to the picasso museum, which was really fascinating, but not necessarily the best activity to do with a toddler. :-)

here's another story: the day that we went to the picasso museum, we decided to try to get lost along the way to explore more of the city. we came across a church called iglesia santa maria del mare or something like that -- st. mary of the sea. and anything dedicated to mary is something i want to see! so we ducked in to explore this gothic beauty... anyway, we're walking around and we realize that gracie is insisting on some word -- "may mi. mi mi! mi mi! may may!" and pointing. sure enough, she was pointing to the beautiful statue of MARY up at the altar! she was saying mary! without any prompting or guidance from us! isn't that amazing?! it must be because when we lived in hengelo, we would always go to the big catholic church to light candles at the mary altar, so i guess she recognized mary, even though she looked different here in this particular church.

(and now, as i type this, i have an asterisk to add to this story: gracie will say "mary" for just about anything remotely religious: a cross, a church -- or a building that looks like a church -- any statue or big porcelain doll, any oval-shaped pendant on a necklace -- i wear a mary necklace frequently and she knows her from there as well! but i'll take it! i think it's awesome that she knows this word and knows mary!)

adam also got some beach time with us. (he kept asking me, "aren't you beached out? you guys go EVERY day." my reply? "NO! let's go hit the beach!") we were able to go in the morning once or twice with him during the week, but we made the mistake of going in the evenings a couple of times, and the beaches are CRAZY crowded after about 3:00 pm. but if you're prepared for it, it's okay. the beaches, i have to say, are not the cleanest ones around, but they're actually not bad. of course, we're not beach snobs or anything, and there was something festive and fun about having thousands of people, from all around the world, half naked there in the sunshine with us. there were vendors walking around selling "cold" beer (their words -- not mine -- i'd say "lukewarm" or maybe even "not quite chilled" if i was being generous), and lots of women selling massages... i almost signed up for one, cuz they're cheap and lord knows my feet were killing me after all the walking we'd been doing that week, but i wisely realized that these women NEVER wash their hands. no way did i want a part of that. imagine all the bodies they touched throughout the day, all the germs they picked up, all the sweat and alcohol and grime that they'd been collecting -- then PAY them to touch me with the same hands? no thank you! grody! but i digress -- my point is that even though the beaches were crowded, it was FUN! there were other little kids for gracie to play with, there were different languages all around us, there were beautiful people from every corner of the globe, and there was the mediterranean, blue and expansive and gentle. it didn't matter that we couldn't find a quiet patch of sand to spread out in -- it was one giant beach party and we were just happy to be invited!

(youtube still not synching up with my blogger account -- so follow this link to watch another video of gracie, this time she's on the beach with daddy!)

eventually it was time to go. back to our lives in hengelo, and back to the chaos of moving. it was a real treat to be on vacation in barcelona, without internet (yes, i somehow survived, and i REALLY loved it!), in the sun and waves, all sandy and sunkissed with gracie, seeing the sights with adam, painting my daughter's toes, eating chocolate covered churros... it was just what we needed, one final time.

aer doofus

2009-08-16T05:00:00.004+02:00

this is a message i posted on facebook, telling my girlfriends back in holland all about our "less-than-perfect" trip back to the states. i realize now in retrospect how much i was really complaining about something that had a happy ending after all... i guess i just don't like transatlantic flights, especially ones where i'm MOVING WITH A TODDLER! it all worked out just fine in the end, but getting here sure wasn't much fun... read on:

first off, you all know the story of my tickets, right? that i ordered them in april, but didn't get them until june, and only after a week of constant phone calls and nagging them. and then they were PAPER tickets, not e-tickets, and they'd only send them to an american address even though my trip was STARTING in amsterdam. so fortunately my in-laws sent me the tickets in the mail, but what a pain in the butt!

so then we get to amsterdam airport and it is a ZOO! note to you all: NEVER begin a trip during the summer holiday season! go either before or after because EVERYONE is at the airport at the same time! argh!

and then i finally get up to the kiosk to print up my tickets. and we go through the WHOLE process and then we are told by the machine that it couldn't process our request. so we get stuck in the "misfits" line and wait and wait and wait forever to go talk to someone about our tickets.

so then we're in the line, we finally talk to someone, but our seats are all messed up. we paid extra to get these special seats on the airplane so that we'd have more room for gracie to move around and play, but they ended up just sticking us wherever, in the middle of the middle section on the plane, and we didn't have those special seats! so i told the lady that i either wanted a reassignment or my money back for that extra we paid for those special seats.

well she can't process it at that moment because aer lingus (who i am now officially calling aer doofus) needed to reassign seats to the people who were sitting in our special seats. so we can only get our tickets as far as dublin for that first leg, even though we're supposed to fly from amsterdam to dublin to chicago to denver. so we only get our first tickets, and our bags for some reason are only checked as far as chicago. don't know why, but whatever. we had to run to catch our plane at this point anyway so i didn't push it. and i figured we had a 4-hour layover in dublin to get it all sorted out.

but wait, there's more! while we are getting our bags checked in, the lady puts a sticker around the handle (you know, the one with the scanning code on it to know where to send the bags during the journey). well, one bag is almost onto the main conveyor belt when the woman NEXT to the woman helping me, all non-chalantly reaches behind her, rips the sticker off, and throws it on the ground. like it was a joke. so now one of my bags doesn't have a sticker on it, so there's no way to know where it's going! so i'm screaming, "WAIT, WAIT, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" cuz it's NOT a funny joke, dude. oh my god!!! so the woman checking me in (not the one who ripped off the sticker), picks up the sticker, puts it back on my bag, looks at the lady next to her (the one who ripped the sticker off) and smiles at her, then smiles at me apologetically and then continues to check me in. no one says anything more about it. and i'm thinking, dude, if that's a joke, you need to find something funnier. cuz that's NOT cool.

(ps, that bag did show up in denver finally, but my big pink bag with all of MY clothes in it did NOT show up! fortunately it was on the next flight, so we waited an hour for it and got it before we got home anyway. but by then gracie was SO TIRED that i felt really bad for asking her to stay longer to wait for my stuff.) okay, so now we get to our gate. nowhere to sit. the plane is delayed. the gate is changed. we finally get on the plane. then we wait and wait and wait, cuz someone left a bag at the security check at our gate. finally brings the bag onboard and someone claims it. it was a FLUTE. we had to wait for a stupid FLUTE. so we take off like an hour and a half late. so much for our 4-hour layover in dublin to get our new tickets!

the flight is fine, mg takes a nap, we get to dublin. then we get off, find our way to the new tickets desk, and wait. and wait. and i'm supposed to be next, but some douchebag from chicago budges ahead of EVERYONE and demands to see a manager to get his lost bags or something. argh!

so now i get my turn, and i'm talking to the lady (the one who just got yelled at by chicago douchebag), and i tell her the situation, and she says that we can't get our tickets at her desk but that we're going to have to go through security, back to the main check in desk, and then get our tickets there. i'm close to tears, and i say something like "i understand", and then i compliment her on her bracelet or something like that. then she miraculously realizes that she CAN print up my tickets after all. which she does. but we still don't have our tickets for our last leg from chicago to denver, because apparently that's a totally different airline (even though i bought ALL my tickets from aer doofus over the phone).

we make it to our gate, get on the plane which is on time, and this is the best part of our trip: no only do we have the seats we originally signed up for, but we have a WHOLE ROW to ourselves! the plane is in one of those 2-4-2 seat configurations, and we got the 4 seats in the middle right behind the bulkhead, so we could all spread out and play and lay down and relax together. the plane was only like 75% full and all the flght attendants were all really awesome. i watched a movie, ate decently, and gracie napped well. it was a really smooth, GOOD flight. thank god for something easy! we needed it!

now we land in chicago, go through customs, get our bags, and have to go to the transfer desk to get our final tickets and re-check our bags. we JUST make it in time, we get our tickets, but there are no seat assignments yet. strange, but whatever. we go through security again, rush to our gate, and see that our flight is DELAYED and there's like 35 people on the standby list. FORTUNATELY, we weren't on that list, but i did have to wait in a crazy long line to get our seat assignment.

so i get to the desk, get our seat assignment, and we board. and here's another good thing: we actually bought an extra seat for gracie for the whole length of our trip, but we didn't need it for this last leg because she was probably just going to sleep the whole time anyway. so we "give up" her seat so that someone on the standby list could get home that night, PLUS i get a free round-trip voucher for a flight anywhere in the lower-48 states. (SWEET since this was only a one-way ticket, and now i get a roundtrip ticket!).

gracie sleeps the whole 2-hours to denver, we land mostly on time even though we took off late, but then like i said my bag never showed. so we grabbed some food and came back and sure enough my bag was on the next flight so i did indeed get it before we drove home.

but then it was a 2-hour drive home. by the time we got here, it was midnight (8:00 in the morning in hengelo) so we were EXHAUSTED! gracie woke up at like 5:00 this morning, but we all took a nice morning nap and this afternoon i'll lay her down for another short one. then we'll be back on schedule.

wow. what a trip! but we're here, safe and sound with all our stuff, and it's hot and sunny and i'm about to run some errands and grill out tonight. it's good to be home!

thank you for seeing me off in style at the train station. you girls are the best. if i wasn't so damn tired i would have been bawling. but trust me, i have shed plenty of tears over this move.

i think this message is probably long enough so i'm going outside to play with mg and do some shopping. love you all and write back!

heart,

our last day in hengelo...

2009-08-16T03:44:00.008+02:00

it's almost hard to remember everything, since it was already a month ago. but omg i've been TOOOOO BUSY to catch my own breath, let alone catch all y'all up on our stories! long story short: we're in texas now, ready to begin our new lives. but first i have to back up and tell you about our last day in hengelo, cuz it was just lovely and wonderful and sad.

we planned it all out pretty well for the most part: the movers and cleaners and shippers and all those dudes came on monday, and took all our stuff away. then we had a cleaning party. then adam and mg and i all spent the night in a hotel around the corner.

adam ran out to the bakery and got us some croissants and beautiful pieces of bread (oh dear lord how i miss good bread!) and we reorganized our bags -- we knew that we'd be cramped for space and time over the next 48 hours, so we wanted to have all our stuff together and in order. we packed one overnight bag for the three of us, which we would use in our itty bitty airport hotel room and again immediately after returning to colorado springs so that we wouldn't be jet lagged and searching desperately for saline solution and toothpaste in the bottom of one of our huge bags. the rest got organized into large suitcases, weighed, and zipped up tight.

after reorganizing, i took mg to the park. our last day in the park! sad! we have LOVED this park -- it was redone over the winter, and opened at the end of may, and nearly every day after that we spent it in the park, drinking rose' wine or sparkling water, pushing gracie on the swing, or splashing in the water and digging in the sand. we have a LOT of memories there!

while gracie and i were playing, adam was finishing up a few errands: returning our internet modem to the right people, and reading the meters. then he met up with us in the park and we went out for a lekker lunch at the twee wezen, our favorite restaurant in town. i was craving a really amazing sandwich, since i knew it was going to be hard to find something like that in the usa... we just don't have incredible cheeses or bread here like we do over there, so that's what i wanted. i got a wonderful tuna-fish sandwich, on this beautiful brown roll, with a wasabi mayonnaise and lots of fresh things on it. it was divine! adam got himself a big-ass meatball, which he shared with gracie, and she just mostly at a ton of fries since that's her favorite food and the dutch know how to do great fries! we watched all the "fietsers" (bicyclists) pedal past us under the clear blue sky, with the church steeple and bells ringing, and it was simultaneously exciting and depressing. we are so homesick already for hengelo!

as long as we were right next to the church, we thought it would be a good idea to go in and see mary one more time, light a candle, and ask for protection and guidance and support during our long, difficult transition home. i have felt comforted by my weekly visits to our big basilica, and i pray that i will also find a spiritual home here in denton. or, at least a place where i feel welcomed and calm, a quiet space in which to think and to light candles. i know nothing here will feel as big and old and mystical as sintlambertus kerk, but i do hope i will find SOMEPLACE out there where i will feel as peaceful as i felt when i walked in those old doors.

after lunch it was naptime, but since we had already checked out of our hotel, gracie had to take a nap in the park in her stroller. adam sat with her under a shady tree on a bench, looking at all the little baby duckies, and i picked up a few things at the hema and at the etos (one is a department store and one is a drugstore -- both on our street. or, rather, on our old street. sad!) then it was time for me to meet my friend, josine (pronounced "yo-see-nah"), who was helping me with our check-out procedure with the realtor.

the realtor was right on time, predictably dutch, and walked through our beautiful house. it was painful for me to be there, empty and echoing, looking around at all the memories that took place in every corner of every room of that amazing, loving, lovely home. i couldn't bring myself to even step one foot into gracie's room during the checkout, since that was always my favorite room in the house: her pretty yellow room, which adam lovingly painted for gracie before she was even born, and where i nursed her in the middle of the night, and laid her to sleep every evening, and met her in the sunny morning. i stood in the hallway and shouted out my answers as the realtor asked me about the keys in the door and the plaster on the ceiling. this is me locking up for the last time. i'm not even hamming it up for the camera -- i was really pouting this much! waaaah!

we passed with flying colors (though we STILL have not received our deposit, and somehow i'm totally not surprised even though i am pretty irritated), and to celebrate i bought ice cream cones for adam, myself, and josine. we didn't bother buying one for gracie since she never ate ice cream whenever we presented it to her, but wouldn't you know it, on our last day there, she was suddenly very interested in MY ice cream! i got mango and raspberry sorbets, and i think the colors looked really appealing to her (much prettier than the usual vanilla cone we usually buy for her!). so she pretty much stole that away from me and devoured it herself. way to go, gracie! i shouldn't have bought myself TWO scoops anyway! i was happy to share.

okay, now we had to swing by the hotel to pick up our heavy bags, and then walk to the train station to meet our train. and who did we see there? our friends! a group came with balloons and cameras, and hugs and kisses, to properly send us off on our way! oh, you guys! you are soooo sweet! it was just like at the movies, hugging and crying at the station, with balloons and a million bags, and a train approaching to take us off into the sunset...

we boarded the deutschebahn (got ourselves 1st-class tickets, too, so that we could relax in our own private cabin with all our bags, and it was worth every penny!) and rode west to amsterdam, where we got off at the end of the line: schiphol airport. we walked a few meters to our hotel, checked in, and called it a night.

check out this hotel, though! it's all one room! the toilet and shower are right next to the bed and have these circular walls that pull around them for "privacy." (though if i had to use the toilet, i don't think glass walls would make me feel like i had any privacy!) the hallway looked like a bunch of storage closets, cuz the doors were all so close together, but those were actually our rooms! amazing! it was actually really comfortable, and surprisingly quiet given that we were AT the airport!

off to bed, then up the next day to fly home. or, "home." or, ... back to america. where is home now? i feel so transient these days!

everything must go!

2009-07-28T17:23:00.014+02:00

a question we often asked ourselves when trying to plan our big move back to the states was, "what are we going to do with all our stuff?"

when we moved to the netherlands in 2006, we were fortunate to be able to put most of our things in storage, and to leave our car at bob and rae's. we kept our american bank account open, and we asked adam's folks to forward our mail to us. easy.

but when we moved back from europe, we weren't sure how to handle it. i mean, we can't really put our things in storage -- we're almost certainly never moving back there, so why keep our stuff there? and what do we do about our mail? and can we keep our bank account? how do we do this?

well, we knew we didn't want to bring all of our ikea furniture with us -- what would be the point of shipping cheap stuff? and with all the garage sales taking place right when we move back, we might be able to get something nice for way cheaper than the cost of shipping things back anyway. so a few weeks before we moved, we sent out a big ol' email letting everyone we knew that we were selling our crap, and that if they wanted to come to our going away party they were going to have to bring an empty box, and leave with it full of our stuff.

and they really took us seriously! by the time the party was over, we had sold ALL of our furniture, our fridge, our washing machine, and all of our kitchen stuff -- dishes, spoons, trays, everything! at the end of the day, the only things left in our house were the boxes we were shipping, our bed, gracie's bed, and some random things in drawers. most things were able to be carried down the steps, but not the couch -- our stairs are so narrow and windy that in order to get our couch down (and the same way we got it up in the first place), we had to remove part of our back fence, walk onto the neighbor's property, and lower the couch down over the side of the wall. good thing we had a lot of tall dutch men to help us, because we were able to do it without a rope this time -- those long arms and legs must be an evolutionary advantage out there where many places require furniture to be lifted in and out through windows when moving :-)

after the party (and sale!) we went out to dinner and ice cream with a couple of our neighbors, and came home to a sadly empty house. we finished our packing (about 40 boxes in all) and sat out on our bedroom balcony, gazing one last time at the spires of the church and city hall, sitting on towels, and reflecting on the last three years. it was very bittersweet.

the next day, we woke up very early in order to be ready for the moving companies that were coming. one moving company was going to take our boxes and bed, and ship them back to the usa. (in fact, i think they're somewhere on the ocean as i type this.) the other moving company was coming to take anything that we weren't shipping -- they took all the leftover toys, books, clothes, and even the wads of tinfoil stuck in drawers. they took it all!

gracie and i stayed out of the chaos -- she actually had her last consultatieburo appointment that day, so we took the bus, went to the pediatrician, and came home to a completely empty house. adam stuck around to supervise the movers, which i was glad for because watching our memories disappear in boxes and trucks would have been too painful for me to watch.

we had lunch across the street from our house, checked into a hotel, and went back for a well-needed nap.

later that evening, i met up with some friends in order to clean up the house. they were soooo generous with their time! adam and gracie picked up some pizzas and aimee and josine brought some beer, and all of us sat around on the bare floor having some grub before we got to work. then we broke out the tunes and brooms and got busy!

federica and gracie did the floors.

paul scrubbed my toilet WITHOUT A TOILET BRUSH! (the movers took it! what a good friend he is!)

aimee vacuumed. (and i think she scrubbed a toilet without a brush too! don't i have the greatest friends ever?!)

marije cleaned my bathroom

josine did the bedrooms

and i had the saddest job of all: wiping gracie's sticky fingerprints off of the windows. it was SOOOO SAD! it was like wiping away our memory from our house. our house, with SO MANY good memories there... every corner of that house held a memory for us: i looked at the pillar in the kitchen, and remembered all the family dinners that ended with adam jumping behind it and back out again, playing a really rowdy game of peekaboo with a giggling gracie. or the front step, where gracie would sit to excitedly put on her shoes before going to the park or the market or to church. the bathtub, when adam and i sat on the edge, reading the positive results from a pregnancy test, wondering what the future would hold, simultaneously terrified and thrilled. gracie's yellow room, which adam painted himself in preparation for our baby, where we rocked gracie to sleep during countless sleepless nights, where the sun came pouring in the windows during those first two weeks of her life. the windows in the living room, where gracie would stand for hours, slapping on the glass, waving to passers-by, squealing with delight whenever the streetsweeper or the garbage truck would drive past. the radiator, right next to the window, where she first learned to pull herself up in order to look out of said windows. the stairs, where she learned to climb them at only 9 months old, and where she would say "baps!" (that means "step") whenever she was about to begin her ascent. our bedroom, where gracie took her first breath, when we first held her in our arms, with my mom, the midwives, and adam there to support me as i pushed our child into the world. so. many. GOOD. memories.

and that was the hardest thing, really: saying goodbye to our house. because i know we'll see hengelo again. and i'm certain i will see my friends again too. but we will never see the inside of our house, ever ever ever again. our house with the market outside. our house that never needed a clock because the church bells kept time for us. our house above the little jewelry store, in our little dutch village, during our three enchanted years abroad. i miss it terribly. i cry when i think about our house, and how we will never be able to share another laugh or another family meal within its drafty, cozy walls. oh.

i know we are on the right path, going to texas to begin a new chapter in our lives. i know this is the right decision, and i have faith that we will succeed in our new hometown. i know we will make friends and that we will find a lovely little home to create new memories in. but still, i'm sad to leave hengelo. i'm homesick already...

saying goodbye to the girls

2009-07-17T14:57:00.007+02:00

about 9 months ago, i started kicking it with the cool girls. it's difficult to find ONE good girlfriend, but to suddenly be bff's with a whole GROUP of girls -- well, that's downright miraculous!

i don't even know how it all started. i think we just kind of all knew of each other through various connections, and one night decided that we better all formally meet (since we had heard so much about each other already), get dressed up and go out to dinner somewhere fancy. and ever since then, we've been inseparable. (well, up until now when i moved, that is... waaah!)

birthday parties, moving parties, random drinking extravanganzas... any excuse we can make up to go out and get awesome!

there are far too many pictures from our past events to publish in one blog entry, but suffice it to say that the girls have kept me BUSY and surrounded me with love this past year. it has been TERRIBLY difficult to say goodbye to them, especially since they're all so hott. ;-) what keeps me going is knowing that they're all in academia, and fortunately academia creates MANY opportunities for one to travel to other universities for networking, conferences, etc. i pray fervently that these girls will have a chance to come to texas to work with adam and to play with me. i visualize me and gracie coming back to holland with adam for various work meetings, so that i can reconnect with the girls again. i miss them all so much!

to properly say farewell, we organized one final girls-night-out at a surprisingly expensive italian restaurant near my house. (oops! maybe i should have looked at the menu beforehand...) mostly i wanted to go there for the ice cream, which CONSISTENTLY wins awards every year for the BEST ice cream in the netherlands. all the girls were there, and we sat in the back terrace under grape vines and the open sky. the service was TERRIBLE, but at least it meant that we got to hang out for hours at a time just drinking wine and eating ice cream! nothing wrong with that!!!

after dinner we headed to our favorite girls-night-out pub, de appel, and drank wine and duvel beer and were WAY too rowdy and obnoxious. we've been to de appel a couple of times before, and the last time we had been there we actually closed the place down -- in the middle of the week! seriously! the bartender finally came out and gave us our bill, and we looked around and EVERYONE was gone, and aimee REALLY had to use the toilet before she biked all the way home, but the bartender had locked all the doors and wouldn't let her in cuz he was TIRED and wanted to go home! haha!

(note to future employers/lenders who might be reading this blog to get more background information on me: this is WAY out of the ordinary for me. now that i have a child i am almost always asleep by 10:00 or 11:00 p.m., and i never have more than a couple of drinks in a night. i don't know what got into me that evening -- i guess it was just a great girls-night-out!)

anyway, i am SAAAAD to say goodbye to everyone. they have really made my last year in hengelo amazing. they have supported me in so many ways and have made me feel at HOME in hengelo (something i didn't feel until only this past year). i pray that i find another group of homegirls to connect with when we move to denton in a few weeks. i know no one will be able to replace the love and friendship i have shared with my holland girls, but i do hope i can find a group like this one to befriend. but really, don't we all? a bunch of hott girlz who are funny, intelligent, and know how to rock it? seriously -- i think we're all looking for a group like that!

going away party

2009-07-17T14:20:00.004+02:00

the following is an email that adam wrote to his parents after his department at UT threw us all a going-away party.

Hi,

The bowling party was really a lot of fun. We arrived just 5 mins late, but the whole department was there already having a great time with some warm-up bowling. There are just 4 lanes at this place - we rented two of them, but no one else was there so we had the whole space to ourselves. There was a very nice man in charge and he kept bringing us drinks from the bar. Gracie was over-joyed and overwhelmed by the experience - lots of noise from the crashing pins and everybody screaming and cheering. She mostly stood by the ball-return machine and pointed at the balls as they came back up the chute. And she clapped along and danced when people cheered for a good performance. But she did bowl a few times with Amber...she even got a spare! She was a very good girl and did not get in anybody's way. She also liked that it involved putting shoes on and taking shoes off!

There were so many of us that we only got about 5 or 6 full frames in before we had to go to dinner - but at that point our team (the world) was ahead of the other team (the Netherlands) so we got to stand at this cheezy podium that the worker guy brought out of the back somewhere to have our picture taken. I also won first place in the individual competition with a whopping 53 points after 5 frames. Not the best bowling bunch, but still it was an honor and fitting that I should come out on top.

Dinner was also fantastic - very slow traditional Dutch dinner that started at about 6 and finished with coffee at about 10. It was upstairs at a special outdoor seating area at the Twee Wezen, which is really quite the classy place. We had drinks and salads or soups to start (I had the french onion - excellent), then Philip made some nice remarkes about me...even read an old e-mail I sent him when I first learned about the job and contacted him to express my interst in it (so over three years ago). I also made a few comments as did Amber. They presented us with some touching gifts - especially nice was a traditional Twents wooden sculpture that hangs on the sides of farm houses to ward off evil spirits. Hans and Tiny were there from Utrecht and it was so nice to see them - Tiny gave us beautiful Delft blue tile with the image of a man sitting on a barrel eating hering...echt Nederlands! It was actually her grandmother's...so a family heirloom..how thoughtful and kind of them. So cool.

Amber and MG actually had to head home before the main course as it was 8 already! But MG had already had her meal come early thanks to Amber's foresight and she had some french fries and a bit of her hamburger - she also got some toys from the department - a nice little box with a clasp and some farm animals and a little book about the netherlands. I had the spare ribs, which were delectible...could compete with TX I am sure...and a huge TX-style portion too. Then we finished with some sparkling wine and three dessert trays filled with a variety of little ice cream thingies, each tray had a flaming, sparking roman-candle-like thing on it for the initial presentation. Whoa. At the end of the night, I picked up Amber's salmon, which they boxed-up for me to take home to her. The whole thing was free for us - paid for by the department.

It was a fantastic night...sure is going to be hard to leave this place. So many wonderful memories, so many friendships, such a charming, enchanted piece of the earth. We are off to the South of Europe tommorrow...poor us!

love you -

adam

we moved!

2009-07-17T05:35:00.003+02:00

as i type this, i am sitting on a recliner in the living room of my parents-in-law. in colorado springs.

we're back!

so much has happened, i don't even know where to begin...

um. let's start here: we're moving to denton, TX. right now we're in colorado. we just left hengelo yesterday. i'm tired.

this is my third attempt at this blog entry, trying to explain how everything went down and what happens next. but there's honestly TOO MUCH to tell all at once. so i'm going to break it down for you and feed it to you in smaller bites. maybe that will be easier for ME to process.

long story short: adam had a three-year post doc at the university of twente. that's what brought us out here. er... there. out there. to holland. his contract is expiring in september, and we really wanted to move back home to the usa to be closer to our families. he interviewed for a job back in november, and was offered a position at the university of north texas in denton, TX (just north of dallas), and that begins august 15. so we decided to hit the road early so as to have a little bit of time to relax and readjust to life in america before we took off again to start househunting in our new town.

now we're here in colorado springs, and it wasn't easy to get to this point... lots of cleaning, packing, moving, shipping, flying, crying... but we're here, we're excited for the new road ahead of us, and we feel optimistic for our future in texas. read on to hear about each event that brought us to this point over the last month or so...

inverness

2009-06-26T14:05:00.010+02:00

if i lived in the UK, i'd totally have a cottage up north in the scottish highlands. the area is incredibly beautiful and stirring, even if it does rain all the time, and the pace of life is much quieter and more relaxed than further south in england. there is room to BREATHE, and the people are friendlier and not as rushed. i loved the highlands.

we left edinburgh after several days (and omg, i really could have spent another week in edinburgh it's such a great city!) and took another train north to inverness. it took about three or four hours, and we rode over a mountain pass with deep blue lakes and some scrubby brushy thing that was kind of brown and kind of purple, which we decided must be the heather when it's not blooming. cuz the land was COVERED in it. like scrub brush in the american west, but much much much denser and pretty much EVERYWHERE. i bet that must be quite a sight at the end of summer when the flowers actually appear!

we stayed at a cozy cottage a few miles outside of inverness, in a little village with a general store and a small playground down the road. it was just perfect: a little two bedroom cabin in the woods, with a hiking trail that led us directly to the "center" of the village, and followed the flow of a pretty tea-colored stream. adam would walk to the general store in the morning and get some fresh rolls, and a couple of papers for us to peruse over breakfast. (the headline one day in the inverness paper: "stifler" from the movie american pie was spotted at a pub in inverness and signed autographs for fans before relaxing with a couple of beers with some friends. haha! i love small town news!)

every day in inverness was different: on our first day in inverness, we went to go see the culloden battlefield, where bonnie prince charlie's troops valiently but unsuccessfully battled the english army. it was a terrible defeat for the jacobites and marked the end of scottish culture for several generations:

The government began to dismantle the structures of Highland society. Chiefs were deprived of their legal powers and clansmen of their weapons. Jacobite estates were seized by the Crown. The kilt and tartan were banned.

it was a huge battlefield, and EXTREMELY well organized with flags marking the places where each side stood, and with really thorough audio guides to tell you about what happened in each area of the field. there were several cairns standing in the field, each marked with the name of a particular clan which died in the battle of culloden. the visitor center was outstanding, too. really, an extremely educational and interesting visit. if you ever go to inverness, definitely check this place out. i learned so much!

after culloden, we wanted to take gracie someplace where she could run around and play for a while. so we thought, why not the beach? we drove to a village called nairn, and since gracie was asleep in her car seat when we got there, adam pulled the car around to the back side of some community center and we all took a nice little catnap in the car. it was really quite cozy, even if none of us could really spread out and relax completely. we were crammed in there pretty tightly, but the sound of the ocean and wind quickly lulled all of us to sleep.

after we all woke up, we bundled up as much as we could before heading out to the beach. good LORD it was windy and cold! but gracie didn't mind it one bit -- we had to nearly drag her back to the car when we were finished. and if one of us wasn't grabbing her tightly the whole time, i just know she would have run straight into the icy cold water. she loved chasing the waves and walking along the beach with her daddy!

later the same day, we all went into town to see the town and did a bit of souvenir shopping. we met a security guard who was closing up the covered market for the day, and asked him where a good place was to go to eat. he recommended the castle restaurant (read a few reviews here), right across the street from inverness castle. i was hoping for a mom-and-pop type of place, but the name of it made me think of something a little fancier, with dark wood and carpet and fake candles on the walls. but it turned out to be just perfect: it was indeed a mom-and-pop establishment, and it was PACKED. we got the last two tables in the place. (and by tables, i mean really we got the last two BOOTHS. bob and rae had to sit at a booth next to us, and the place was so full that we couldn't all talk to each other because of the noise! really popular!) gracie was sitting in the direction of the tv, which was showing the simpsons, so she was really entertained during dinner. (she really hadn't ever seen a tv before this trip, so they were really fascinating to her everywhere we went.) it was impossible to order anything healthy, because if anything was once fresh or low-cal, it was promptly deep fried and served with a side of something else deep fried. my kind of place! it was great! i wish we would have gotten a picture of it. that place was awesome!

the next day, the weather was wonderful. warm, sunny, calm. so we decided it would be great to go find the loch ness monster, since she was living in the depths of the loch only about half an hour away. we arrived almost at lunchtime, and since the cruise we wanted to go on didn't leave for another couple of hours, we chose to have a nice lunch on the balcony of the hotel where the boats were docked.

after eating and relaxing in the sun, we made our way down to the lake to catch our boat. we got tickets that gave us 30 minutes on the boat, followed by one hour at urquhart castle (at the deepest point of the lake -- over 750 feet! -- and where nessie is most often spotted), followed by another 30 minutes back to the hotel

it was a beautiful ride, and it could have actually been peaceful but for gracie who wanted to run around on this boat the whole time. it was a smallish boat, with only rails on the side and not really a wall, and we were all concerned that she was going to fall off and get eaten up by the loch ness monster. so she was forced to sit on someone's lap the entire time, which totally pissed her off. by the time we got to the castle, where i wanted to take a million family pictures, she just wouldn't have it. which is why in all of these pictures we're either chasing gracie or have her on our shoulders, or she's just not in the picture at all cuz she's either crying or climbing up on some ancient rock structure. all we could do was just roll our eyes and let her run wild and get all her energy out before naptime. kids. sheesh!

oh, and rae and i tried haggis that day. we had been talking and talking and talking about it for weeks already, but both of us were too chicken to try it. but we found a nice looking place that had it as an appetizer, so we figured if we didn't like it, then it's not like we would have spoiled our entire meal by ordering something gross. (and, incidentally, EVERY restaurant in inverness -- and many in edinburgh -- offered haggis, usually served as a topping for a baked potato!) it was served as you see it here, with a whiskey cream sauce, and was, according to rae, "surprisingly good." i've had haggis once before, at a family reunion ages and ages ago, and i remember it being not bad, but still i was too scared to order it on my own. thanks, rae, for trying it with me! it was actually kind of good!

the next day was pretty windy and rainy and cold, so we went to a whiskey distillery in the nearby town of tomatin (also the name of the whiskey). rae likes a good scotch whiskey and had been talking for a while about visiting a distillery, so of course when we found that there was one only a few miles away we of course had to go! it was the perfect activity for a rainy, dreary day, too! we got a very small tour that was led by a german woman, and the only other people on the tour with us was a couple from maastricht. i thought i was pretty cool when the tour guide would say a word in english that the dutch couple didn't understand, and then i could translate it for them. maybe tomatin should have offered me a job! that would be fun!

(note that in one picture you see barrels of whiskey that are 44 years old! wow! that must be some GOOD whiskey! they didn't let us try that batch, though. too bad!)

i think the rest of the day was spent napping and reading and relaxing back in the cottage, because the next day we were leaving for foggy london town. we spent two nights in london, and i was unfortunately sick for both of them, but we did get out to see the big ferris wheel along the banks of the thames river, and we also saw adam's best friend, dan. (the first thing rae said to me when we saw her in oxford was, "are we going to get to see daniel?" haha!)

but that's the next blog...

roslin

2009-06-22T21:01:00.008+02:00

i'll say it again: ever since i was a wee lass, i've wanted to travel to scotland. somehow i learned that my dryden heritage, my dad's side of my family, emigrated once upon a time from scotland. and i learned that scotland was this far-away, magical place with castles and monsters lurking in deep lakes and bagpipes and mountains. and i was hooked. i've always wanted to go!

so when i was thinking about the things i wanted to do in scotland while exploring this land of my dreams, one of the things i had hoped to do was to go see my ancestral village. wherever that was.

so, i called my dad. i asked him where we came from. he had no idea. "but," he said, "you might want to check out the dryden family reunion website. i bet they'd have something on there." sure enough, they did! i checked it out, and it just so happens that the drydens came from a little village called roslin, near edinburgh! what a serendipity!

it also happens to be that rosslyn chapel, made famous from the da vinci code book and associated with the knights templar and the holy grail mythology is ALSO in roslin. omg, imagine that! that my ancestors might have at one time in ancient history been involved in the building of this chapel! maybe they were knights templar too, or protectors of the grail! how cool would that be?!

so OF COURSE when i discovered that rosslyn chapel was actually IN roslin village, and that my ancestors came from roslin, and that roslin village was just outside of edinburgh, and that we were going to be spending several days in edinburgh, OF COURSE we had to go to roslin! how could we NOT do that?!

so this was the plan: it was mother's day, and i was going to catch the bus to roslin to go to church that morning in rosslyn chapel. and everyone else was going to meet up with me later in the afternoon for some sightseeing. only problem: once i finally made my way to the bus stop in edinburgh (like a half hour away by foot!) i discovered that there were no buses to roslin that day. can you believe it? i came home crying, and was extremely disappointed. but then we went to holyrood house and had a cool bus tour of the city of edinburgh, so i got over it. AND it was GREAT that we actually had one more full day in edinburgh before we left for inverness. so it was decided that we would go on monday instead, our last day in edinburgh, and a regular work day with a regular bus schedule.

so the next day was monday, and i knew the way to the bus stop already (including the short cuts by this time!) so we all got up, got packed, and headed out. it took a good 40 minutes or so by bus to get to roslin, but it really didn't bother any of us: the weather was AMAZING and the scenery was incredible! rolling hills, sheep, pastures with wildflowers and hay, cute little cottages, distant mountains... it was exactly as i had pictured it!

we arrived in roslin, a sleepy village with one main street, a cafe, and a little war memorial along the road to rosslyn chapel. we made our way along the quiet roads to the chapel, which was under major renovations after centuries of disuse and neglect. pictures were not allowed to be taken inside the chapel, and the structure was covered by scaffolding and a metal roof to keep the rain (of which there was PLENTY in scotland) out of the already mildew-stained chapel. it was difficult to find any good angle of the church to get a decent picture of it, but guests were allowed to climb up on the scaffolding to get a good view of the surrounding countryside. it was from this vantage point that i could see the ruins of rosslyn castle (where william st. clair/william sinclair lived and he was the guy with this vision of building the chapel).

being the typical american out on an ancestral pilgrimage of sorts, i couldn't help asking the women in the visitor center a few questions about my last name. specifically, if they knew of anyone with that last name ("i don't know anyone by that name, but i HAVE heard it before") and if there were any road signs or anything with that name on it ("yes, at the end of the road take a right and you will see dryden grove and a bit further down there is dryden farm."). i know i looked like a dork asking these questions to total strangers, i'm sure i sounded like a real american after all, but i was so thrilled by their answers that i didn't even care how stupid i must have seemed to them. AND they were incredibly kind and patient with me, like virtually every other scot i met there.

rosslyn chapel is a working chapel, and we arrived right in time for the afternoon prayers. it was very moving to sit quietly and pray in the same chapel where my ancestors likely once worshipped. and where some of my distant relatives today still attend church services. i felt warm and rooted and heavy, like my feet were planted and my heart was vibrating. it was so amazing and beautiful, i wish i could have stayed there forever.

but time passes quickly, especially with a toddler; gracie was starting to fidget and it was soon time to go.

we set out in the direction of dryden grove, and found it quite easily as roslin has basically two roads: one going north/south, and one going east/west. it was along a quiet neighborhood street, right at the edge of town. in fact, i almost missed it! the walk was so peaceful and the area was so beautiful, that we happened to come across dryden grove before i even realized it. adam had to point it out to me, and i'm glad he did or i would have walked right past it!

just past dryden grove is a little footbridge along a path which many cyclists and pedestrians were using. i think there was a hiking network or something like that, and this road was one of the pathways in this route. it went past a cow pasture, a sheep pasture, and then through the forest before opening up into a clearing with a sign that read "dryden farm."

a bit further down, and we were actually IN dryden farm, which was a HUGE operation. aaaand, this is how cool my family is, dryden farm is actually the farm where dolly the cloned sheep lived for many years! no kidding! i'm not making this up, you can read about it online! just google "dryden farm" and it's like the second thing that pops up! isn't that cool?!

there was this big farm office building with a pretty garden in front, and so i figured why not look like a REAL tourist and ring the bell to introduce myself? i was soooo nervous -- what if they answered? what would i say? "hi, you don't know me but my last name used to be dryden and i think we should exchange emails so i can get to know you better." right. lucky for me (or lucky for them, or unlucky for both of us maybe) no one was around, so i didn't get the chance to look dumb. but that would have been pretty cool, i think. or pretty dorky. i still can't decide.

behind the offices there was another big lot with low buildings and farm equipment around, and off in the distance was a tower which i recall reading about on the internet when researching the town of roslin. it was called the dryden tower, and i don't know exactly why that is since the drydens were not really the type of people who back in the day would have had the resources to build a tower. i think the tower is actually not all that old (maybe from the 19th century) and is probably called the dryden tower because it's likely on the land that is owned by dryden farm. but yes, my family is that cool that they own a tower and it has our name on it. yes yes, i know, i'm awesome.

it was getting late in the day, and it was still another 40 minutes back on the bus before we got to edinburgh, and we had a few more things in the city that we wanted to see before checking out the next morning. i really could have stayed in roslin FOREVER, cuz it was SO CUTE and i was so moved to be standing there, walking along the same paths as my ancestors, touching the same stones as them, hearing the same wind in the trees as my distant relatives today. i feel incredibly fortunate to have had this opportunity, and to share it with the rest of the briggles who were INCREDIBLY gracious with their time and WANTED to come to roslin with me! (thanks, guys!) and how cool also to bring gracie, the newest dryden, and to show her the place where her people once lived. it was an amazing experience!

edinburgh

2009-05-31T14:34:00.010+02:00

it's been a dream of mine, ever since i was a wee lass, to see scotland. for as long as i can remember, i've always always always wanted to travel to the land of my forebears, to see the highlands, to hear the bagpipes, to feel the misty air on my skin...

after a few days in oxford with bob and rae, the five of us took a train north to edinburgh. it took about 5 hours i think -- maybe more -- through the lake district and mountains and some of the greenest hills i have ever seen! it rained off and on the entire trip, and it seemed like every turn we took brought a new landscape and new weather. it was so beautiful!

edinburgh is one of the coolest cities i've ever seen, i think. it's just big enough to have a cool, funky, cosmopolitan feel to it. but still small enough to get around VERY easily by foot or bus -- most everything we wanted to see/do was along a strip called the royal mile -- so named because on one end of it is the edinburgh castle, and on the other end is holyrood house which is the official scottish residence of queen elizabeth and her family. mary queen of scots lived there for a time, too. and the distance is about one mile from end to end (or at least, it only seems like a mile when you're walking it. uphill towards edinburgh castle sure feels like a LONG mile, though!)

similar to our experience in oxford, we rented a flat (instead of a hotel room). this gave us the luxury of being able to all be together in the same space, and it allowed gracie the opportunity to run around and spread out if she wanted to. we ate meals together in the kitchen in the evenings, thus saving money by not eating out all the time at expensive restaurants. our flat looked over a beautiful cemetery (the philosopher adam smith was buried there!) and in one direction, on top of a hill, was a cool greek-style building with columns and everything, and in the other direction was arthur's seat, a beautiful volcanic rock that takes a couple of hours in order to hike to the top. it was such a pretty neighborhood! to get to the royal mile, we would have to walk underneath this old tollbooth tower, where they used to put prisoners back in the day (whenever that was...). now there is a pub and a museum there.

because of our close proximity to most everything interesting, we spent a lot of time pounding the pavement in edinburgh. our first full day there (the rainiest of them all) we went to edinburgh castle. according to wikipedia, edinburgh castle is:

an ancient stronghold which dominates the sky-line of the city of Edinburgh from its position atop the volcanic Castle Rock. Human habitation of the site is dated back as far as the 9th century BC, although the nature of early settlement is unclear. There has been a royal Castle here since at least the reign of David I in the 12th century, and the site continued to be a royal residence until the Union of the Crowns in 1603. As one of the most important fortresses in the Kingdom of Scotland, Edinburgh Castle has been involved in many historical conflicts, from the Wars of Scottish Independence in the 14th century, up to the Jacobite Rising of 1745, and has been besieged, both successfully and unsuccessfully, on several occasions. From the later 17th century, the Castle became a military base, with a large garrison. Its importance as a historic monument was recognised from the 19th century, and various restoration programmes have been carried out since.

i was really hoping we could get to the castle in time to hear the "one-o-clock-gun," which has been fired every day (except sundays) at 1:00 pm precisely, since 1861. why not fire it at 12:00 noon? well, it saves 11 rounds of ammunition. easier and more efficient. it's to help the boats in the firth of forth (the bay near edinburgh) set their clocks exactly. but sure enough, we missed it. i HEARD it, but i didn't see it -- we were still outside the gates buying tickets when 1:00 rolled around. no worries, though -- by coming in after the cannon was fired, we also missed the biggest crowds of the day. 1:00 came, the gun was fired, and the crowds all went home to get out of the nasty weather. which meant we had the castle mostly to ourselves. nice!

the weather was terrible that day, with gusts and rain and fog and bone-chilling dampness that felt really authentically scottish. it was crrrrrap. but we were all in good spirits about it. gracie, especially, who didn't have a rain guard for her new fancy stroller -- we wrapped up her legs in a plastic bag instead, and pulled the sun shield as far over her head as was possible! finally we all felt so bad for her we left in search of something warm to drink, and once we went inside a restaurant to dry off she fell asleep almost immediately.

well, the weather was so awful that we pretty much decided enough was enough, and after warming up with coffee and scones, we went back to the flat to warm up completely. and wouldn't you know it, within an hour of us getting back home, the skies cleared and the sun came out. figures!

there was no way i was going to waste a perfectly beautiful scottish evening by sitting inside in my sweatpants, so i proposed to adam that we go on a walking tour of the city. i had seen several "haunted" tours advertised up and down the royal mile, so after dinner i did a bit of research to find out what time/cost/etc and we headed out for our evening entertainment!

we met our tour guide outside of st. gile's church. she was dressed in a period costume (but which period i don't know -- it was just one of those typical gothy-type black and red corset dresses that you see vampire chicks wearing at the renaissance festival). she led us around the perimeter of st. gile's church, and through some alleyways of the imposing tenement buildings of edinburgh, and told us what life was like there hundreds of years ago... throwing your toilet water out the window and yelling "gar de loo" or whatever. (it's french for "look out for the water" -- because apparently yelling it in french makes it more hygenic than yelling it in scottish. i told adam i was gonna yell "gardyloo" everytime i have to flush now. i'm hilarous.) about how it was illegal to be homeless (or sitting in the street) back then, and you'd be taken to the gallows and hanged if found guilty. she told us about the plague, and the witch burnings, and all manner of horrifying acts which were imposed upon the kind citizens of edinburgh. it was pretty gross stuff.

we spent some time on the tour down in the vaults beneath the city. the vaults were originally built in the 18th century for extra storage space and workshops for many of the businesses in that area of town, but eventually were abandoned -- eventually they became inhabited by prostitutes, the poor, and immigrants drawn to the city by the industrial revolution. the living conditions in the vaults were appalling -- no sunlight, no fresh air, no running water. additionally, the stones they were built of were porous, so all that gardyloo water would trickle down there eventually too. nasty! the vaults are famous now for being haunted, and sure enough, i actually had my own paranormal experience down there! a ghost touched my neck THREE TIMES (why doesn't anyone believe me? it's totally true!) so by the end of the tour i pretty much booked it out of there as fast as i could and got myself a beer to calm my nerves. it was soooo cool and scary and cool and freaky and omg it was cool.

so. that's day one in edinburgh.

the next day was sunday, and i wanted to go to church at rosslyn chapel (my dryden ancestors all came from roslin village, just outside of edinburgh, and i thought this would be a perfect activity to do!). i got up early, found my way to the bus stop, and waited. and waited. and waited. and WAITED. sure enough, i double check the schedule, and it says "no service on sunday." aaaargh! i came home crying cuz i REALLY had my heart set on seeing roslin!

so, instead, we got all packed up and headed out the OTHER direction of the royal mile, towards holyrood house. holyrood, according to wikipedia, is

the official (government-owned) residence of the Monarch of the United Kingdom in Scotland. Founded as a monastery by David I, King of Scots in 1128, it has served as the principal residence of the Kings and Queens of Scots since the 15th century. The Palace stands at the bottom of the Royal Mile in Edinburgh, the opposite end to Edinburgh Castle. Queen Elizabeth II spends one week in residence at Holyrood at the beginning of each summer, to host garden parties and official ceremonies. She then continues to Balmoral Castle (which she owns) for her annual two-month summer holiday.

Holyrood is an anglicisation of the Scots Haly Ruid (Holy Cross).

we went inside the palace, and gracie climbed up and down the steps until she wore herself out. it was interesting to see the inside of a working palace, especially the room where they knighted sir sean connery. i also liked seeing mary queen of scots' bedroom. that was pretty cool. but for the most part, i find palaces to be extraordinarily DULL. oooh, look at this fancyass chair where some old, fat monarch plopped his big butt 300 years ago. wow, such fascinating paintings of people i've never heard of. i admit, some parts WERE interesting to me. but mostly it was a dull museum.

however, once you finish the tour (complete with audio guides), you get to walk outside to this KICK ASS abbey, dating from the 1100's! cool! the roof had caved in and the stones were crumbling, but that just made it all the more beautiful in my opinion. to see the bright sunlight and clear blue sky when standing in the middle of this ancient abbey was really breathtaking.

beyond the abbey is the queen's garden. SOOOO PRETTY! rhododendrons, roses, flowering trees, and an unobstructed view of arthur's seat. oh my goodness, i think it was the prettiest sight in all of scotland! and it had just rained only moments earlier -- the skies had cleared, the sun was bright, and the fresh rain on the leaves and petals was truly lovely.

well that whole experience pretty much wore us out, and it was threatening to rain, so we all went back (after a beautiful lunch at the palace) to our flat and everyone took much-needed naps. gracie, especially, who hadn't had a proper nap (like, actually in a bed and not in her stroller) in several days. and with the mexican pig flu floating around out there, none of us wanted to be run down and susceptible to it! what a way to ruin a vacation!

after naptime we went on a bus tour of the city, and ended up near the scott monument with great views of the city. we went out for dinner in the "new town" district of edinburgh. bob and rae went out that night on a walking tour of their own, and adam and gracie and i went back to the flat.

that's day two. on day three we went to roslin, my (and gracie's!) ancestral village. then it was time to go on to inverness...

i really honestly could have spent another two or three days in edinburgh. i can't believe how much there was to do there! it was an AMAZING city and i really hope i can get back there someday soon! it really is one of my favorite cities in the world! so great!

kleuterkerk

2009-05-28T13:57:00.006+02:00

it is very important to adam and me that we raise our children to be spiritual individuals. to have a sense of the sacred. that's a large reason why we decided to create a "god squad" for gracie. it's also an excuse to bring her to the kleuterkerk at the catholic church next door...

one day gracie and i were playing on the jungle gym across the street from the church. it was almost time to go home, but before we did, we decided to go into the church to light a candle in the mary chapel (something we do regularly). on our way indoors, a very nice woman with bright eyes stopped and looked very intently at gracie. this normally happens anyway, so i didn't think much of it at first. but there was something really intense about this woman, so i just waited for her to start talking -- i felt like there was something that she wanted to say.

she began to explain to me (in dutch) that once every week there is this kleuterkerk (kleuter = preschooler. kerk = church) and that we were heartily invited to join. "is gracie too small?" i asked. "do we need to be there exactly at 10:00 in the morning?" she assured me that gracie was not too small (though when she found out that gracie was really only 13 months old at the time, she was shocked because gracie was walking and talking so easily already!) and that we can come and go as our scheduled permitted. it was very easy-going, she said. "just come, don't be shy -- we would love to have you both!"

well the very next week (and pretty much every week thereafter) gracie and i went. we've gone every week except for one because i was sick, and then of course we missed a few meetings while we were travelling in the UK recently. but pretty much, every week, we are there!

this is usually what happens: church begins at 10:00, and the mamas (or grandmamas) and the little ones meet in the parochiehuis (where gracie's creche is located on sunday mornings) for about half an hour. we drink coffee or tea, and the children get settled in with their toys and little cups of juice. there are usually cookies offered to everyone too. (about a half hour later is when gracie and i normally show up -- i know the church is right around the corner, but we are LAZY in the mornings and all three of us hang out and eat breakfast together for much longer than is necessary... it's a great way to start the day.)

by 10:30, the kids are starting to get a little restless, and most everyone has arrived, so we are all led into the sanctuary. we sit in the front of the church, to the right of the main altar, at an altar with the holy family on it. gracie and i normally arrive right at this part, and i'm always sad if we miss it cuz it's my favorite part of the morning! we say a prayer first. then we sing songs about how happy we are to be children of god, and we sing about how jesus loves all the children of the world. sometimes we read a book -- about peace, about jonah and the whale, about jesus. whatever. something fun, though!

after the prayers and the songs, we walk towards the back of the church, near a statue of jesus. it is there where we each light a candle, and someone says a prayer for the group. usually we pray for the daddies and for the grandparents. it is very sweet.

after all of this we head back to the parochiehuis. (what is the english word for this? i have forgotten it entirely! it's the house where the priest lives, and it's attached to the church. there are also a couple of offices in there too, a small kitchen, and i think there are a few nuns who live there. is there a word for this in english?) we have another cup of tea, the kids all have some juice and cookies, and i practice my conversational dutch. i admit i've been getting lazy about my dutch now that i know i only have to speak it for a few more weeks, but still, it's good to challenge myself so i do try to speak it whenever i can.

by 11:15 it's time to start packing up to go. i'm always sad to leave, but not as sad as gracie! she LOVES her friends and toys and cookies and songs and candles!

afterwards we normally swing by the grocery store and then go to the market for our mid-week fruit, veggies, chicken, eggs, bread, cheese, and the frequent bouquet of flowers. then we're usually home by about 12:30 and we make lunch (we're both STARVING at this point, even with all the cookies we ate at church!). i put the flowers in water, clean up lunch, and put a certain someone down for her much-needed nap! she's usually exhausted after playing so hard all morning long and it's never a struggle to get her to sleep on kleuterkerk days!

oxford (with bob and rae)

2009-05-27T13:58:00.005+02:00

we have been extremely blessed to have had so many opportunities to see bob and rae out here in europe. they've been here five times in the last three years, if you can believe it!

1. shortly after we first moved out here.

2. ireland

3. right after gracie was born

4. christmas 2008

5. just now.

adam and gracie and i went to oxford in late april so that adam could do some networking at both oxford and at the royal society in london, as well as have an opportunity to meet his publisher at cambridge. all told, we were there for about 10 days, most of which we spent on our own exploring the city and going on picnics in christchurch meadow. oxford is a beautiful city, don't get me wrong, but i was honestly starting to get a little bored. there are only so many spires i can look at before i start to wonder what gracie is going to do for fun. i can't just go to the pubs all day and drink with my 15-month-old. and i can't climb all the cathedral towers with her either. so i was REALLY happy when oma and opa arrived with books and toys and tickles for gracie!

they arrived at breakfast time, which was AWESOME cuz that meant that we got to spend the whole day with them! and gracie, omg, she was the star of the show. that girl was showing off and flirting like there was no tomorrow! it was so nice to see that she actually remembered her oma and opa -- gracie has been going through a serious case of stranger anxiety (which is a good thing, i have to keep reminding myself), so both adam and i were nervous that she wouldn't react so nicely around the folks when they got here. but that was definitely not the case! swear to god, whenever opa sat down, gracie would RUN to him so that she could either sit on his lap, or have her squeeze her between his knees (omg she loves that). she loved showing oma how smart she was, playing "so big!" and making all her animal sounds (gracie, what does the rooster say? "biddi biddi biddi" she answers! not exactly, but close enough! gracie, what does the horsey say? "pppffffft!" gracie, what does the dinosaur say? "rrraaaawr!" ). she loves her oma and opa!

the first day was pretty chill since the folks were still jet lagged. we went to the grocery store, headed into the center, and met up with adam. i don't exactly recall what we did that first day, but i think we mostly just walked around. we went to eat at the eagle and child, which is the same pub where we ate with my friend carol a few days earlier. (remember that famous pub where c.s. lewis and j.r.r. tolkein hung out? yes, that's the one.) i think we also spent a good amount of time inside the covered market, since it was so blustery and cold outside.

the next day was our only full day together in oxford, so we made the most of it: we went to see christchurch cathedral and the famous dining hall where much of the harry potter movie was filmed.

the dining hall is still in use today, and this is the menu of what they had for lunch on the day we visited. i wonder, if you get to eat in this cool dining hall all the time, would you eventually get sick of it? like, would you be all, "oh, man, shepherd's pie AGAIN?!" or would you think that pretty much anything you eat in the dining hall is the most amazing food you've ever had? and, did you know that lewis carroll ate like 8,000 meals here? that's amazing! do you think he got sick of the bangers and mash too? or maybe he was totally inspired by the food there, because he did end up writing alice in wonderland, after all...

i had been waiting all week to do this with someone, and it was well worth the wait. i had thought about going by myself a few days earlier when adam was working, but i'm really glad i didn't: not only is it more fun to share it with someone, but also there are SO MANY STEPS that i couldn't have taken the stroller with me. (seriously, the english have to do something about all those steps -- there were very few places in oxford, and even in london, that were completely accessible to stroller, wheelchairs, or walkers. NOT COOL, GUYS! no wonder so many english pensioners move to crete -- they wouldn't be able to leave their flats if they stayed in england! yikes!)

but anyway, enough complaining about the steps. seriously, christchurch was amazing. we had already gone to church there the sunday prior to this visit, but this time i really got to take my time examining the cathedral and walking up and down the corridors of the college. and i found this one sign with a very unfortunate name on it. poor guy.

oh, and then adam and bob climbed to the top of some famous tower to get a better look of the city. adam loves doing stuff like that, so i'm glad he had someone to go with him!

then we took the train to scotland...

oxford (day trip to the natural history museum)

2009-05-24T16:53:00.006+02:00

another email excerpt:

dear ma,

everything is good here. bob and rae got here this morning as we were all eating breakfast. gracie is in hog heaven with all the attention she's been getting from everyone. we went to the grocery store for some lunch fixins and while we were out we all bought little presents for gracie cuz she doesn't have any toys and she's going crazy -- a puzzle (it's flat and easy to pack and she LOOOOOVES puzzles), and a long string of pearls (she loves playing with my necklaces so now she has one of her own) and a little jewelry box that rae saw at a 2nd hand store, that has a little clasp and a secret compartment in it. she loves it! this afternoon, after everyone wakes up from their naps, we'll head downtown and walk around the center, and meet up with adam after his meetings today and then we'll get some grub somewhere. tomorrow i don't know what we'll do, but it's our last day in town so i really hope i can see the inside of the dining hall at christchurch. i've been wanting to do that all week.

yesterday sure was a lot of fun. i was thinking of you the whole day, too -- did you feel it??? gracie and i took the coach down to london and met adam there (he was there earlier in the day for some meetings) and we all went to the natural history museum together. he had to leave right away unfortunately to make it to another meeting, but gracie and i stayed. she and i had a little lunch, i changed her diaper, and then we saw a couple of exhibits. we first went to the human biology one which i thought was really cool and we learned how babies were made and how they're born, and then there was this section about how babies learn and develop, with cool buttons to push and things to uncover and explore. fun fun fun! THEN we went to see the dinosaurs! WOW did she love that! she just kept running around with her arms outstretched in front of her, and her fingers pointing, and turning around and screaming and pointing and running and pointing and screaming and pointing and laughing and running. omg, she thought it was soooo cool! now i say, "gracie, what does the dinosaur say?" and she goes "roar wah wah rrrroooooaaaar (giggle giggle)!" yay! there were several animated dinosaurs with mouths that would open and arms that would wave and move, and necks that would look around, and they would growl and roar and stuff, and OMG she thought it was realllly cool.

i just kept thinking how much i wish you were there, because i just know that we would have seen every single exhibit in the museum and pushed every single button and turned every single knob and left with a bag full of toys from the gift shop. it was so much fun. we'll have to take you and gracie to something like that in dallas when you come down to visit us.

then she took a nap in the cafe there, and when she woke up adam was there too and we went to an exhibit called "creepie crawlies" which she seemed to like cuz there were a couple of butterflies and lots of little buggies for her to point at, and lots of stuff was at her eye level. then it was time to go, so we caught the bus and got some fish and chips at a little restaurant near the coach station. she SQUEALED with glee when she saw this whole plate of french fries in front of her -- that's her FAVORITE food (that's my girl!). she didn't eat any of her fish, though, because if there are french fries in front of her, she won't eat anything else until the fries are gone. and she ate all of her fries, every single one (except the one that adam put some ketchup on -- she picked around that fry and wouldn't eat it at all cuz there was something weird on it. just like her dad!). so by the time it was time for her to eat her fish, she was stuffed! too funny!

that's all the news for now... next stop, edinburgh!

love,
amber, adam, and gracie

oxford

2009-05-24T16:35:00.007+02:00

the following is an email i wrote to my mom when we were in the UK recently. forgive me for plagiarizing myself, but i have been tooooo busy lately to actually find time to sit down and blog properly. so, until that magical day when i find myself with time to spare, this will have to suffice... enjoy!

dear ma,

we've been in oxford since tuesday and have really enjoyed the beautiful weather and pretty spires. we walked through christ church meadow a couple of times and had a picnic there yesterday-- christ church university is the largest uni in oxford, and was where many scenes from harry potter were filmed. in fact, we went to church this morning at christ church, and there was a boys' choir who sang portions of the service in latin, and neither adam nor i had any idea that the human voice could reach notes like that. it was really cool!

(incidentally, we're here for 10 days while adam does some professional networking and meets with some people at cambridge about the book he is co-authoring. that's what brought us here to the UK. on 8 may we go to scotland and we'll spend about a week between edinburgh and inverness, just on vacation. cool!)

last night we went on a haunted walking tour of oxford along with my good friend, carol, who was my roommate when we studied together in china. she's been living in oxford and now london for the last couple of years -- she married a briton a few years ago when they were both living in beijing. anyway, she came up to see us for the day and we went out for a drink at what is supposedly the oldest pub in oxford, then ate dinner at a pub where cs lewis (or was it lewis carroll?) and jrr tolkien and someone else famous used to hang out and think up great stories. we all ordered the fish n chips and drank local ales. it was great!

after church today we went out for pizza, and after that adam climbed a church tower -- st. mary the virgin cathedral. then after gracie's nap in her stroller, we went to a park that was on the way home on the bus line. and honestly, even though we got to go to this great church service with the latin-singing boys choir, and adam got to climb a cathedral spire while i drank a cappucino in the shadows of the tower, our time at the park was our favorite part of our day today.

we've been staying in this really cozy flat a couple of miles south of the city center. it's been really nice because we've been able to eat dinner together as a family most every night instead of spending all our money and time in restaurants. there's a washer/dryer here, a great big bathtub, cable tv with english tv shows and american reruns, and a separate bedroom for mary grace. there's also a community pool just around the corner, which gracie and i explored together a couple of days ago. there was a toddler splash hour in the wading pool with lots of little toys. we of course were the last ones out of the pool!

anyway, here are some pictures of what we've been up to so far. to be honest, my first day here was pretty awful, i've had some serious culture shock here and have been dreaming all in dutch because i'm kinda homesick. but we've been having a great time, as you can see from the pics, and we're looking forward to bob and rae joining us on wednesday! woohoo!

heart,
amber, adam, and gracie

videos!

2009-04-26T14:12:00.002+02:00

here's your latest batch of gracie videos to keep you entertained while you wait for us to move back in july...

3/27/2009: dancing with daddy in the living room. this is how we both stay so trim: we pretty much run around in circles with her all day long!

3/27/2009: whenever gracie has some new teeth coming in, she makes this motorboat sound to try to cool her gums. today she has climbed up onto a chair all by herself and is hanging out up there just making these sounds. it's endearing and pathetic all at once! poor, funny little girl with her sore gums!

3/27/2009: i don't know who has more fun at bathtime: gracie or her daddy!

3/28/2009: the first few minutes of gracie's day -- daddy is changing her diaper and i'm pretty much not doing anything helpful.

3/28/2009: it was a very rainy, dreary, dutch day, so the three of us made the most of it by going to the market and having a lekker lunch of french fries and fried fish. what a great, fun video that we'll love watching over and over when we move back to the usa and there's no more market like this!

3/28/2009: one of gracie's FAVORITE THINGS EVER is the streetsweeper! he usually comes onto our street on wednesday and saturday evenings after the market is done, but we also see him at other times during the week. here we are just done having dinner, and she heard the streetsweeper, so we had to RUN to the window to see the last minute or so of the streetsweeper doing his job. gracie also knows a bit of baby-sign-language, and so adam and i made up a "sign" for streetsweeper so she can "say" it when she sees it on the street. you'll see her waving her arm back and forth like she's waving sideways (or sweeping in front of her) and that's the sign that we taught her.

4/1/2009: as soon as april came, the weather got warm, sunny, and gorgeous. here we are after lunchtime, having a quiet water activity in the back yard. i love how messy and wet she's getting! yay, gracie!