for years and years, before we even decided if we WOULD have children, adam and i for some reason thought we would have a girl first. no reason, really. we just felt like a daughter would be our first child, and we both kinda just agreed on this. and a few months before we got pregnant, when we really started talking about not just "if" we should have kids but "when" we should have them, i could totally feel the presence of this little girl following me around. i would be taking a bath and feel her there splashing with me, and i'd look over and she wouldn't be there and i'd be totally sad. or we'd be eating dinner and i'd look across the table, half expecting to see our daughter there gnawing on a bread roll with spaghetti noodles stuck to her head, and she would be missing. and i TOTALLY missed her! it was around this time that adam and i decided it was probably time to start considering starting a family.
then a few months later, i had a really vivid dream. it turns out i was already about 1 week pregnant but of course didn't know it yet. and in my dream, i met a little boy. i was pregnant with him and i could see through my belly and he talked to me about how everything was going to be just fine and how i just needed to relax and enjoy it all. it was extremely vivid and i woke up just ecstatic (not knowing i was pregnant yet), and i said to adam, "oh i can't wait until we get pregnant because i just met our son last night!"
"our son?!" adam asked, shocked.
"yep! i guess we might not have that girl first after all! because i totally dreamt of a boy!"
well, a few months later as i was telling people, i just got confirmation after confirmation that spruitje was a boy. my stepmom didn't seem shocked at all when i came home to tell her i was 2 months pregnant, because she had been dreaming for 2 months of a blue-eyed boy. my gramma, who is like NEVER wrong with guessing babies, told me that she got a boy-vibe from me too. and my best friend's mom does this pendulum thing at baby showers and when she did it with me, it came up "boy."
so it's no wonder that for the next 9 months, practically every dream i had of spruitje was a boy. i was drawn to boy clothes when i'd go shopping (even though all the girl stuff was WAY cuter), and we would almost always use "he" and "his" when speaking of our baby.
then, as the pregnancy drew on and on and on and on and ON, i started thinking maybe we needed to start referring to spruitje as "she." i wondered if maybe spruitje was afraid to be born because she was afraid she would disappoint us by being a girl, after all these months of being referred to as a boy. and my gramma, without knowing that this is what we were doing all the way over here in holland, had a dream in which spruitje came to her and said "i can't be born until you realize and acknowledge that i am a GIRL!"
now, you all know how much i loooooove surprises. and i thank mary grace for keeping her identity unknown to us this whole time! she was with us at the beginning and we could feel her presence, but once we got pregnant she was all messing with us and sending us dreams of her as a boy, which was a surprise to us at that time because as i said we both thought we'd have that daughter first. and she kept it a secret all the way until the very end, when she was finally born, and shocked us once again! what a good surprise!
a few days before gracie was born, i asked my mom, "oh my goodness, what if it's really a girl?! can you imagine?!" and she said wisely, "well, honey, that child is just going to keep you guessing the rest of your life."