Saturday, November 10, 2007

super man

i'm so blessed.

some women do not have a partner to share their pregnancies with, or worse, have partners who just don't care one lick about the pregnancy, the woman, or the baby. some women have partners who mean well and are interested in helping out, but they don't know how to do it, so they just stay out of the whole mess because they're afraid they might screw it up somehow. i, however, have a truly amazing sort of partner, who not only is interested, but is involved, supportive, and loving to both me and spruitje.

adam has been just fantastic this entire pregnancy. even the part leading up to the pregnancy, when we spent two years talking about not only "when" we should start a family, but "if" we should at all. he's been completely present and focused throughout this entire journey. he has come to every single midwife appointment, at times even rescheduling things in his own calendar to make sure he can be there too. he holds my hand every time the midwife puts the doppler microphone to my belly to hear sprouty's heartbeat. he was the one who singlehandedly transformed the nursery from the moldy-wallpapered, spare room to a cozy, bright, clean nursery. he was the one who found the secondhand store when i started to freak about about the logistics of baby furniture, and he was the one who carried said furniture up two flights of stairs and arranged for a friend to come over and help out with the really big pieces so that i wouldn't have to lift anything heavy. he reads to me out of the pregnancy book to tell me what sorts of changes baby and i will experience this week. he makes me breakfast when i'm running late because even though i might not be hungry, he knows that spruitje is. he lights up with every kick and squirm he can feel when he puts his hand on my belly, and is disappointed when he misses them. he takes me to the baby store to buy bulky things like a mattress for the crib, things that are too awkward or heavy for me to carry home by myself. he has been there for every single weekly belly photograph, to document the changes in our bump week by week. and when i step out of the shower, he's right there, cocoa butter in hand, to rub cream all over my belly.

yes, i have a super man. he's incredibly supportive and excited, and it has made this pregnancy so much fun and so easy. and i just know he is going to be a wonderful and loving and involved daddy. he WANTS to learn, to know, everything he can about the baby, he wants to do so much for the two of us (spruitje and me) to make sure we're taken care of.

i think when women say "we are pregnant," it's not just some post-feminist way of being nice, of making the father feel more involved or included in this. because i think that it really is something that a couple can experience together. i've seen so much emotional growth in adam during the past 7 months, and i can see that this pregnancy has really become "our" pregnancy. it's not just me who is changing physically and emotionally, but adam too: he gets a sore back and shoulders from painting, from carrying, from giving up the extra pillows. and emotionally, he's far more aware of others now, and he notices other people and their moods a lot more than he used to, and i think he thinks a lot more about the future and how he can make the world a better place. so yes, we are pregnant, and i am blessed.


Queen E said...

Amber, this is such a beautiful love letter to Adam. Thanks for sharing it with us.

And Adam, thanks for being so great and for taking care of Amber so so so well.

You two are amazing and make me tear up with joy. I love that I get to be in your lives and know you. Thanks for modeling love and care when many of us, myself included, have so few examples in our lives of what that can be like.

Jenna said...

What a beautiful post Amber. I love when we share the positive things about our partners. It's always easier to complain and be negative and it also made me tear up to read how much you love and appreciate Adam. I really respect how much you have grown together in this journey towards Spruitje's arrival.

teresa said...

I love you both (the three of you!) so much. Adam, thank you for being a good partner, daddy, husband, and friend.